User:Grr/Curses

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Charleston Shoe Thieves are a notoriously Cursed team, and have accumulated many Curses over the years.

The Most Cursed Team in Blaseball?

A rumor says expert statisticians from Breckenridge have been trying to prove the Jazz Hands were the Most Cursed team in Blaseball, but no matter the metrics used, would always find their team ranking second behind the Shoe Thieves. It is however difficult to identify Curses and especially pinpoint their causes. For these reasons, the data documented on this page may be incomplete despite the thorough investigation that went into it.

The following Curses have been identified by a Sunken Charleston Professional Curse Taxonomist and confirmed to be affecting the Shoe Thieves:

The Feedback Curse

Following the Grand Unslam, the Charleston Shoe Thieves did not gain any performance stars as the result of a feedback trade (or set of single game feedback trades,) between the advent of feedback in Season 4 and Day 63 of Season 9, despite being affected by feedback six times over five seasons. This string of bad luck was attributed to a splorts curse brought into effect by an entity or entities affiliated with the city of Los Angeles or the Unlimited Tacos to punish the Shoe Thieves for their role in opening the Bad Gateway and shattering the city of Los Angeles into the infinite Los Angeli. In a statement to press regarding the curse, Shoe Thieves pitcher and general manager Cornelius Games noted that the team “...bear no ill will toward the Tacos or the city of Los Angeles. We don't even know that there is a curse, or that Los Angeles is its source. Our sins are manifold and we are unrepentant. We will not be returning Wyatt Mason's 1985 Air Jordans.”

The curse was broken on Day 63 of Season 9, when Beasley Gloom was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers for Jaylen Hotdogfingers. Fans have speculated that Jaylen's relationship to The Microphone, an entity closely associated with the Grand Unslam, may have had some bearing on the breaking of the curse.

The Peanut's Curses

Following their defeat at the hands of the Shelled One's Pods, the Shoe Thieves acquired the Flinch and Mild curses. Hitters afflicted by the Flinch curse cannot swing until a strike has been thrown in the At Bat. Pitchers with Mild will occasionally throw a mild pitch, which counts as a ball but causes all runners on base to advance.

The Shelled One is known to have asserted that players defeated by the pods would receive five curses. It is therefore possible that the Shoe Thieves are subject to several as-yet undetected curses.

The Curse of Terrible Pitchers

terrible pitchers history: Gunther, Tillman, Simba, Bright, Zora, Derrick?? the fax machine

Hauntings

Esme then Vela

The Roamers' Curse

Pudge (S12EL), Bright (S14EL), Stew (S15EL), Alejandro (S17EL), Agan Harrison (S19EL), Parker MacMillan (S24), Castillo Turner (S24) Bon Voyage = S18EL