Sutton Picklestein/IF-54.493

From Blaseball Wiki

Intentions Unknown, Vibrations Unstable.

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Sutton Picklestein at their Rumor Registry.


The being known as Sutton Picklestein was discovered in Yellowstone Caverns, Yellowstone National Park (ParkPark) on Peanutuary 3rd, Which Sutton now refers to as their "Micronucleation Day." Some park rangers hypothesize that this relates to Sutton's relationship with Owen Picklestein, but both organisms have remained silent on the matter. Sutton began playing for the Yellowstone Magic almost immediately, via their own will.

Sutton's presence has always had a positive effect on their teammates, keeping feelings bright even during disaster. Sutton has expressed that their greatest wish is the continued happiness of the team. As a longstanding member of the Magic, they have been deeply involved with the ParkPark for some time.

Upon being struck by an errant peanut, the matter comprising Sutton appeared to boil and hiss until the stray object was ejected. Park rangers have added this to Sutton's employment documentation as "Peanut Allergy."

Physiology and Anomaly

The matter which comprises Sutton Picklestein appears to be nearly transparent, with a green-yellow bioluminescence constantly radiating in all directions. The brightness fluctuates in the range of 45-54 Lumens, but has reached over 100 Lumens during feeding behaviors. Dark, pulsating shapes, which York Silk has compared to "lava-lamp goo," float through their transparent medium, usually thickest at the "chest" and "head". Sutton does not appear, at first, to have any orifice for biological function and prefers to maintain the shape of a featureless bipedal humanoid. Sutton's chemical makeup has yet to be verified, as they seem to possess a semi-reliable manipulation of their matter. The Park Service assumes that the bioluminescence results from the usual Luciferin. When pressed, Sutton has replied that they are Sutton Picklestein.

By rapidly separating their body, Sutton is able to move at near-lightspeed when well fed. Sutton has clarified that this is not able to be used as a form of reproduction, and is simply an alternative method of movement. They have also demonstrated the ability to exist as a sort of non-newtonian fluid. The substance of Sutton is limited, and does not appear to accumulate or disperse in large amounts over time. Sutton's makeup is usually enough to facsimile a 212 cm tall humanoid.

Sutton exists in a state of near-constant happiness. The dark material within Sutton's "head" often floats in a crescent, approximating a grin. This material, which Sutton refers to as Phagosome, (though it appears that it does not function in the same way as cellular Phagosomes,) will pulsate according to the emotional state of living organisms nearby. Expressions of positivity or excitement are met with a particularly worrisome vibration of the Phagosome.