Parker Parra/IF-121.90

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Parker Parra at their Rumor Registry.

History

Parra claims to be a three-dimensional projection of a higher-dimensional entity. Despite their apparent potential to be a star batter, their performance compared to the rest of the league has led to speculation that the entity cares little for Blaseball.

They have only been observed once out of their Blaseball uniform by a fan seeking an autograph--an event informally known as "The Casualwear Tragedy." The unfortunate fan was made dimensionally unstable, flitting between multiple versions of themselves including versions that mutter strange prophesies from other universes and at least one version that is a 20 foot tall two-dimensional monster intent on eating the other fans. In response to this incident, Parra was quoted as saying, "It was a shame it had to happen, but it did have to happen." As compensation, the fan was given season tickets behind the Crabs' dugout at the Crabitat. Sitting in a special dimensionally-sealed section for his, and others' protection, Wanderin' Dave is now a fixture at Crabs home games.

Parra is fascinated with crafts and art, especially origami, and as a result holds a deep admiration for them. They have mostly made origami crabs, but have branched out into making other animals as well. Among the confirmed animals crafted by them are a swan to "appease the overwhelming number of birds", and a tiger made in memory of Landry Violence.

Interest in Mathematics

Parker is a frequent and well respected guest at the annual conference of Dimensional Mathematics, alongside teammates Sutton Dreamy and Brock Forbes. While they often simply attend as a guest, there have been several panels that have been hijacked by what academics have called "innovative and driven Q&A" with Parker. After several recurrences of this issue, Parker was granted the opportunity to speak at their own session that they entitled "how to fold a paper crane." This was one of the most widely attended sessions that year, though not a single attendee has been able to comment on what was taught other than Sutton, who said it was "nice, but [she] wish[es] Parker had done a little crab instead."

In Literature

Parker Parra is subject of a poem by Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper called "Wanderin' Dave":

Queen Circe was a mighty witch

And sirens wrecked many a ship,

But none of these are dangerous,

Like Parker Parra when they strip.

I speak, of course, of Wanderin' Dave:

An accidental tragic day,

He spotted Parker, dressed in jeans,

Reality then went astray.

So Dave was given honored seats

And kept from eating fans abreast,

He prophesizes every game

And watches Parra—always dressed.