Difference between revisions of "Parker Parra"

Revision as of 01:15, 22 August 2020

Parker Parra is a player for the Baltimore Crabs and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Parra currently has no notable events in the official record books

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

If you would like to edit this entry, click IF-208.20, or if you would like to see a list of all Rumors for this player, click Rumor Registry. To read all about the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill.

In The Tabloids

Now defunct Baltimore based Blaseball Tabloid magazine "Shells Cracked" ran a supposedly in-depth article Titled "You won't BELIEVE what Parker Parra does in their spare time!" about Parker Parra on their personal life. This article, written by Camilla R.A. Bubblegum, included the following things:

A "Non-exhaustive" list of their hobbies, including; Knitting, painting, drinking coffee, breathing, not making direct eye contact, swimming, petting crabs, breathing life into inanimate objects, walking, practicing Blaseball, origami, and looking at the stars.
Segments of what is assumed to be an interview, but due to informal and sometimes nonsensical answers from Parra to the questions asked, some readers speculate that it was actually a recording of an eavesdropped conversation. Excerpts include "Hi, sorry I'm late [inaudible], Bustacean was late. Thanks for the coffee!" in response to a greeting, "Oh, yeah, the little crabs are my favourite origami to make" when asked about their teeth brushing habits, and "Of course I will. You know me." When asked about aspirations for reaching the Season 4 ILB Finals.
REDACTED featuring REDACTED and REDACTED of Parra, presented in "marvelous 3D, now with sound" according to the magazine headline. Issues with this part of the article still in tact are collector's items, as some claim after witnessing this part of the article, the pages it was inscribed on burst into flames. It's unknown whether these rumors are true as prices for this issue of the magazine are so astronomically high that fans and museums alike are afraid to test the validity of this claim.
Supposed evidence of Parra's ability to shape-shift. This claim was not founded with sources or pictures within the article and thus is largely considered to be a baseless rumor.
Pictures of Parra on the Blaseball field. These inclusions made this particular issue of the magazine legally required to say "The Commissioner is doing a great job!" and "We are all love Blaseball" on both the front and back cover or face ramifications of REDACTED. Luckily, this is a frequent occurrence for Shells Cracked so no one had to face the ramifications.
A segment about Parra's rumored relationship with Hades Tigers pitcher Yazmin Mason. This claim in the article being supported by the two of them being "seen practising together in both the Sixth Circle Stadium and the Crabitat during the Grand Siesta, despite Mason being a pitcher, and Parra a batter." When asked about these rumors in the article a flustered Parra was quoted as saying: "What? Uh, no! That'd be against league regulations... Well, I mean... Plus it would affect my career, yeah? So when we practise together it's strictly, uh, friendly!" These rumors have been REDACTED.

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 == Official League Records ==
 Parra currently has no notable events in the official record books
-== History ==
-{{Community Lore}}
-Parra claims to be a three-dimensional projection of a higher-dimensional entity. Despite their position as the Crabs' best hitter, their performance compared to the rest of the league has led to speculation that the entity cares little for Blaseball.
-They have only been observed once out of their Blaseball uniform by a fan seeking an autograph. The unfortunate fan was instantly driven mad. In response to this incident, Parra was quoted as saying, "It was a shame it had to happen, but it ''did'' have to happen." As compensation, the fan was given season tickets behind the Crabs' dugout at the Crabitat. Chained to his seat for his, and others' protection, Ramblin' Dave is now a fixture at Crabs home games.
-Parra is fascinated with crafts and art, especially origami, and as a result holds a deep admiration for them. They have mostly made origami crabs, but have branched out into making other animals as well. Among the confirmed animals crafted by them are a swan to "appease the overwhelming number of birds", and a tiger made in memory of [[Landry Violence]].
-== In Literature ==
-Parker Parra is subject of a poem by Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper called "Ramblin' Dave":
-Queen Circe was a mighty witch
-And sirens wrecked many a ship,
-But none of these are dangerous,
-Like Parker Parra when they strip.
-I speak, of course, of Ramblin’ Dave:
-An accidental tragic day,
-He spotted Parker, dressed in jeans,
-The sight did send his mind astray.
-So Dave was given honored seats
-And kept in chains, for that is best,
-He rants and raves through every game
-And watches Parra—always dressed.
 <br>{{Community Lore}}
 == Interdimensional Rumor Mill ==
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+   titlematch=Parker Parra/IF-%
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