Nolanestophia Patterson
Nolanestophia Patterson (pronounced “Sophia Parson”, as the n, o, l, a, n, e, t, t, t, and e are all silent) is a batter for the Philly Pies. There is no known relation between Nolanestophia and the Baltimore Crabs’ PolkaDot Patterson.
Career
Nolanestophia started her blaseball career with the Hawaii Fridays, demonstrating a capacity for consistently poor batting. When blessings were applied at the end of Season 1, she joined the Hades Tigers in exchange for Nagomi Mcdaniel[1]. When blessings were applied at the end of Season 2, she joined the Philly Pies in exchange for Jessica Telephone
Nolanestophia's pitching ability is estimated to be in the top 1% of all recorded athletes by the Hades Tigers coaching staff. In an interview, Tigers' Coach Kick Rocks explained the reason she hasn't switched positions: "She picks up a bat during practice and says "This just feels right”. She's refused to pitch ever since. Never let go of that bat. We've never looked back."
As a Tigers player, she was known for her consistently poor batting and clumsy attempts to steal bases. She had a significant personal following (self-dubbed the "Pitter-Pattersons") and successfully launched an extensive merchandise line, including a signature Hades Tigers baseball cap with "Fauxlanestophia" protruding ears. She was frequently spotted sleeping atop the Tigers stadium and local buildings