Difference between revisions of "List of Places Where Malik Destiny is Banned From"

Latest revision as of 13:17, 30 January 2023

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Malik on his way to Adventure. Art by rhystique

Malik Destiny is a lineup player for the Seattle Garages. As a catboy adventurer from an alternate dimension^[Which?], and a known prankster, Destiny has gotten into trouble in a number of places with his antics, and subsequently gotten banned from a few, listed here.

Pike Place Market: Malik smacked several fish out of the air and tried to eat them. He was also reported to have used his gunblade to stab the famous Monkfish when it startled him by moving after he bent down to look at it. While he claims that it was an act of self defense and that his fur was very poofy from the scare, the management refused to budge on the ban.

The Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café. A general ban against cat people is believed to have originated in part from Malik having "beef with many of Randall's 'singular' cat." Nolanestophia Patterson was also banned separately for attempting to adopt "only one cat" by sneaking them out of the door.

The Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Café and Sanctuary. Similar reasons to the above: Malik does not get along well with many occupants, including Gloves, Cream Cheese, and Caramelized Onions.

Plottery Barn. Self-explanatory.

Most craft stores in the Pacific Northwest. Ron Monstera once showed Malik the yarn aisle of a Jlo-Ann Fabrics, a decision he later claimed to regret. It took two hours to cut Malik out of the yarn cocoon he had accidentally tangled himself into.

Seattle Center Armory. Brought several of his prop weapons in, looking to trade them before realizing that the Armory is a food court.

Mike Townsend's workshop, after attempting to perform power-up upgrades on the OCTO-THUMB and knocking several loose items off of Mike’s workbench out of curiosity.

Seattle Aquarium. Lost a fight with Molalla the river otter, banned as is customary in Aquarium duels.

A 500 yard radius around the Gävle Goat. General precautions taken after Malik was documented hearing about it and, with wide eyes, muttering "boss battle".

Most tall building tourist attractions, including the Space Needle in Seattle, as he has attempted to climb them looking for monsters and has on occasion gotten stuck at the top. Do not allow Malik to persuade Durham Spaceman to join him.

Lori Boston’s DJ sets, for chasing the lasers.

Posting from the Seattle Garages team Twitter account.

The Emblem Warhorse. Destiny is allowed inside for events, but has yet to prove himself worthy of becoming a patron and is often swiftly booted out once events conclude before he has a chance to challenge the patrons to a duel.

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-[[Malik Destiny]] is a lineup player for the [[Seattle Garages]]. As a catboy adventurer from an alternate dimension<sup>[Which?]</sup>, he has frequently been reported to struggle adapting to cultural norms in the immaterial plane. This has not discouraged him from seeking adventure and "sidequests", often to the exhaustion of those around him. In an effort to help reduce friction and potential trouble, a list has been created to track places where Malik Destiny is no longer allowed to go, including the reason that he was banned.
+{{Community Lore}}
+[[File:AlternateMalikDestiny.png|alt=What will he do?|thumb|Malik on his way to Adventure. Art by [https://rhystique-study.tumblr.com/post/627914240740753408/behold-alternate-universe-malik-destiny rhystique]]]
+[[Malik Destiny]] is a lineup player for the [[Seattle Garages]]. As a catboy adventurer from an alternate dimension<sup>[Which?]</sup>, and a known prankster, Destiny has gotten into trouble in a number of places with his antics, and subsequently gotten banned from a few, listed here.
-* Pike Place Market: Malik smacked several fish out of the air and tried to eat them without paying. He was also reported to have used his gunblade to stab the famous Monkfish when it startled him by moving after he bent down to look at it. While he claims that it was an act of self defense and that his fur was very poofy from the scare, the management refused to budge on the ban.
+*Pike Place Market: Malik smacked several fish out of the air and tried to eat them. He was also reported to have used his gunblade to stab the famous Monkfish when it startled him by moving after he bent down to look at it. While he claims that it was an act of self defense and that his fur was very poofy from the scare, the management refused to budge on the ban.
-* The [[Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café]]. A general ban against cat people is believed to have originated in part from Malik having "beef with many of Randall's 'singular' cat." [[Nolanestophia Patterson]] was also banned separately for attempting to adopt "only one cat" by sneaking them out of the door.
-* The [[Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Café]]. Similar reasons to the above: Malik does not get along well with many occupants, including Gloves, Cream Cheese, and Sauteed Onions.
+*The [[Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café]]. A general ban against cat people is believed to have originated in part from Malik having "beef with many of Randall's 'singular' cat." [[Nolanestophia Patterson]] was also banned separately for attempting to adopt "only one cat" by sneaking them out of the door.
-* Plottery Barn. Self-explanatory.
-* A 500 yard radius around the [[wikipedia:Gävle_goat|Gävle Goat]]. General precautions taken after Malik was documented hearing about it and, with wide eyes, muttering "boss battle".
+*The [[Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Cafe and Sanctuary|Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Café and Sanctuary]]. Similar reasons to the above: Malik does not get along well with many occupants, including Gloves, Cream Cheese, and Caramelized Onions.
-* Most craft stores in the Pacific Northwest. [[Ron Monstera]] once showed Malik the yarn aisle of a Jlo-Ann Fabrics, a decision he later claimed to regret. It took two hours to cut Malik out of the yarn cocoon he had accidentally tangled himself into.
-* Tasmania. He knows why.
+*Plottery Barn. Self-explanatory.
-* Eiffel Tower, Paris. Attempted to climb it to find hidden treasures. Had to be rescued when he cried about not being able to get back down.
-* Tokyo Tower, Tokyo. See above.
+*Most craft stores in the Pacific Northwest. [[Ron Monstera]] once showed Malik the yarn aisle of a Jlo-Ann Fabrics, a decision he later claimed to regret. It took two hours to cut Malik out of the yarn cocoon he had accidentally tangled himself into.
-* Space Needle, Seattle. See above. <u>Do not allow Malik to persuade [[Durham Spaceman]] to join him.</u>
+*Seattle Center Armory. Brought several of his prop weapons in, looking to trade them before realizing that the Armory is a food court.
+*[[Mike Townsend|Mike Townsend's]] workshop, after attempting to perform power-up upgrades on the OCTO-THUMB and knocking several loose items off of Mike’s workbench out of curiosity.
+*Seattle Aquarium. Lost a fight with Molalla the river otter, banned as is customary in Aquarium duels.
+*A 500 yard radius around the [[wikipedia:Gävle_goat|Gävle Goat]]. General precautions taken after Malik was documented hearing about it and, with wide eyes, muttering "boss battle".
+*Most tall building tourist attractions, including the Space Needle in Seattle, as he has attempted to climb them looking for monsters and has on occasion gotten stuck at the top. <u>Do not allow Malik to persuade [[Durham Spaceman]] to join him.</u>
+*Lori Boston’s DJ sets, for chasing the lasers.
+*Posting from the [[Seattle Garages]] [https://twitter.com/TheSeaGarages team Twitter account].
+*The [[Emblem Warhorse (bar)|Emblem Warhorse]]. Destiny is allowed inside for events, but has yet to prove himself worthy of becoming a patron and is often swiftly booted out once events conclude before he has a chance to challenge the patrons to a duel.
+[[Category:Seattle Garages]]
+[[Category:Lists]]