Difference between revisions of "LA Unlimited Tacos"

Revision as of 20:24, 9 August 2020

The Los Angeles Tacos are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1. They are managed by Albert "Al" Pastor until the time of Pastor's death, and furthermore following Pastor's return from death.

It is said that the fields under the place that the Tacos call home is filled with ground beef and Pico de gallo. It goes for miles and miles underneath the surface of the earth, and is mined for all of the world's taco production.

History

The Los Angeles Tacos were formed from the "only 14 people to sign up for a community Kickball league signup sheet" on the corkboard of a Ralphio's Grocer in Van Nuys, California. Upon showing up for the first game, they were outfitted with Blaseball gear by their owner, eccentric former-professional surfer, Guy Myrington.

The Tacos were formerly owned by the Dilsney Cooperative as part of their deal to buy Guy Myrington's life rights in order to produce the biopic, I Married My Surfboard. Upon achieving ownership, Dilsney renamed the franchise The Van Nuys Tacos of Anaheim, despite the stadium being a one- to three-hour drive away from Dilsney's fortified stronghold in Orange County, California.

Dilsney was "excellent" at marketing the team, said splorts analysts, but the team "suffered in league rankings" during their tenure. After an unremarkable season and the feature film I Married My Surfboard failing to gross a meaningful portion its $400 million budget, Dilsney and the Tacos formally parted ways, with Myrington regaining his role as principal owner. Myrington officially returned the team's name to the original Los Angeles Tacos.

Home Stadium

The Los Angeles Tacos' home stadium is the Al Pastor Memorial Park, located in the middle of the infamous six-way stop sign intersection in Bleverly Hills. Despite the stadium's construction in ███, the roadway has continued to function as an active intersection to this day. Games scheduled during rush hour traffic are known to be especially hazardous, though interference from distracted drivers is not considered foul play.

The signature snack of Al Pastor Memorial Park is the Hotdaco, a hotdog served in a hard taco shell. It is one of the many^[source?] options available at the Tacos' Build-Your-Own-Taco Bar, which is an oft-advertised perk for season pass holders. Taco ingredients at the BYOTB include but are not limited to: cotton candy, vienna sausages, fermented bean paste, and, on Italian night, spaghetti.

Notable Cheers

The following cheers and chants have been observed by Tacos fans, and are a small representative of an ever-growing list of merriment.

72 and Spicy — the team's official slogan. This includes other derivations of 72°, of terms for spiciness, and also of simply shouting the name of a favorite source of capsaicin in one's life.
22.2 repeating — the temperature conversion to Celsius for fans in non-US countries.
Live Más — a reference to a now-defunct, turn-of-the-century taco-based dining establishment.
Taco Tuesday — a date invoked even on days that are not Tuesday. Sometimes, "Taco Tuesday came early this year," an exclamation that ignores the guaranteed frequency of Tuesdays.
We eatin' tonight; Tonight we feast; and other emphatic turns of phrase referring to consumption of tacos.
Carne Asada, sung in the meter of the 1990s hit single, Macarena.
Liberal use of the taco emoji (🌮), sometimes accompanied by the chili emoji (🌶) to denote spicy plays.
Occasional use of the pineapple and crown emojis (🍍👑), a reference to franchise manager Al Pastor.

Rivalries

The Los Angeles Tacos' historic rivals are the Chicago Firefighters due to the Tacos' close relationship to heat and spice; an "association [that] sits too closely" to fire — the sworn enemy of all firefighters.

The relationship first heated up early in Season 2 when when the Tacos swept a series that the Firefighters were favored to win. Tacos pitcher Sexton Wheeler commented on the rivalry, saying, "Water can't calm the blaze on their tongues."

Season 3 saw a 3-1 series victory against the Firefighters, which included highlights such as a 14-inning narrow victory in the 2nd match, and the shaming of the Chicago Firefighters in the 4th match.

The rivalry may or may not have cooled off when Tacos brand manager Myra Myrington exchanged good-natured banter^[1] with the Firefighters over social media. When asked about the rivalry, Myrington said, "they r sonice tho cant we just be frends??" [sic]. Despite this effort, the teams are not friends at the time of writing.

Season Results

Season 1

The Tacos finished last in the Lawful Good Division with a record of XX-XX. However, the relegation decree was not declared this season, so despite placing last in the overall league, the Tacos faced no consequence of hellish removal from the league and/or material plane.

Season 2

The Tacos fared better in The Discipline Era, finishing in 3rd place in the Lawful Good Division with a record of 45-54. They did not advance to the playoffs. Despite their standing among the weakest teams in the overall league on the metric of total star ratings, the Tacos consistently put up what splorts writers called "a pretty grood effort," and pulled off a handful of upset victories thanks to hitters Patel Beyonce and Rat Polk, and pitcher Natha Kath.

The Tacos failed to secure any blessings during the postseason election.

Season 3

At the end of Season 3, a █████ opened over Los Angeles, ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Personnel

Batters

Pitchers

Former Players

Natha Kath, incinerated

Notable Staff

Guy Myrington, Principal Owner
Albert "Al" Pastor, Manager
Myra Myrington, Brand Manager

Fan Art

Logo by Cobaltcakes.

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@@ Line 67: / Line 67: @@
 *[[Basilio Preston]]
 *[[Mcdowell Sasquatch]]
-*[[Wyatt Mason]]
+*[[Wyatt Mason (Wyatt Mason)|Wyatt Mason]]
 *[[Rat Polk]]
 *[[Wanda Pothos]]