Parker Parra/IF-11.551
Rumor / Community LoreThis article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Parker Parra at their Rumor Registry.
Hobbies
Like many 5th dimensional entities projected into the 3rd dimension, Parker can be a bit of an eccentric. They have trouble wrapping their head around a lot of concepts very rooted in three dimensions, like twist tops on jars and bottles, that weird thing the Jazz Hands do with their fingers, the concept of wind, and lava lamps. They love experiencing new things on the plane, things others might find mundane, and have an infectious enthusiasm for life. Being 'time agnostic' doesn't grant them any precognition that we know of, it tends to just mean that the first time they learn how to open an unlocked door is 'somewhere in the middle,' and they'll simply appear to forget how to do it for the moment.
They love people, and the things they create, but some media seems lost on them. While they can read, decoding the squiggles on the page bores them, and even if they can sorta get what's trying to be conveyed over a screen, it's just a plane of light. Music is more to their liking, though their tastes are decades ahead of our own. They were half of the cult experimental hypoindustrial band Shopping List! Mustard, Frozen Peas, Tomatoes, Panko with Adalberto Tosser, and released a total of one EP and two singles before breaking up over artistic similarities. They have been a consistent groupie for Tosser's other musical projects since. Parra is also a lover of performance art, often moved to tears over the storytelling power of dance, live shows, and teppanyaki restaurants. They consider themselves a thespian, particularly of classical drama, though their idea of 'the joy of theater' (said as pompously as you can imagine) involves tickets to Jlerry Springer, JUDGE SINS, and sitcoms filmed in front of a live studio audience.
The Weird Things We Do With Our Hands
Noted tabloid Cupid's Aro, infamous for sensationalized news about celebrities not being in relationships, released a piece about Parker prior to their ILB debut, detailing the mysterious Crab's lack of personal affairs. According to the senior investigator-blogger, from a 'trusted' source who hadn't yet learned to keep his mouth shut, Parker Parra and Sutton Dreamy were extremely close from the moment they first met; after a mutual discussion about partnership, their relationship lasted all of ██ minutes before realizing that, verbatim, "yeah no this ain't it." The two of them remain the dearest of friends to this day, Parra happily embracing aromanticism, and Dreamy eventually finding partnerships elsewhere.
From the moment they returned from Up, Parra apparently spent the Crabs' sabbatical lateseason out in Hawai'i, in the company of their closest companion. They had a lot to catch up on.
