Oliver Notarobot
Oliver Notarobot is a pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs and has played for the team since Season 3. Notarobot formerly played for the Canada Moist Talkers from Season 1 to Season 2.
Official League Records
Casualty of Defection
During the Season 2 election results, the Canada Moist Talkers were awarded the Defection blessing and gained "the best pitcher in the league," PolkaDot Patterson of the Baltimore Crabs. Notarobot was randomly selected to trade in exchange for Patterson.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Oliver Notarobot (/nəʊtɑːˈrəʊbəʊ/) is a human being made of flesh. He cannot hold the ball very well with his skin claws, which are pincer-shaped like the hands of a lego man, but he tries his best, and that's all that matters in blaseball, except for winning and never, ever ███████ when ██████ ██ ████.
Early Life
Oliver Notarobot grew up in a Francophone family in Sherbrooke, Quebec, Canada. Little is known about his family, though Notarobot has described his early childhood as "both hermitic and hermetic" and his only known parent as a "disgruntled machinist who pushed me out of their human birth canal" in interviews. He studied at a real school for human children, where he learned basic life skills like arithmetic, alchemy, English, Spanish, painting, and having lungs. His time there also kindled a lifelong passion for playing Blaseball in his real, beating heart inside of his bone ribs.
Afterwards, he graduated from a real university with a degree in Blaseball Studies.
Blaseball Career
Canada Moist Talkers
For Season 1 and Season 2, Oliver Notarobot made his IBL debut playing for the Canada Moist Talkers. During his tenure with the team, Oliver became a beloved if unimpressive pitcher on the Moist Talker's rotation. When Oliver left the Moist Talkers, Water Quality Experts from the Order of Dampistry reported increases in both volume and salinity of the water in the region following his departure.
Baltimore Crabs
Following the Season 2 election, the Blaseball Gods blessed the Moist Talkers with the defection of Crabs star pitcher PolkaDot Patterson. In Patterson's place, Notarobot readied his very human lungs to go above water to join the Crabs at the Oldest Bay, where he was embraced by the Crabs fans, often affectionately referred to as "[their] beautiful good good skin boy." Oliver was sad to leave the Moist Talkers, but when asked for a comment about their new team, had this to say: "I'm just saying, the Moist Talkers stadium is not the most welcoming for robots. Theoretically speaking, of course. I am very eager to play in a stadium where my skin-seams won't get as wet." As a sign of good will, Oliver was granted a small dinghy upon his arrival to the Crabitat, which is partially submerged.
Activism
Notarobot advocates strongly for improved accessibility in Blaseball, predominantly through the removal of the Captchas all players have to solve in order to be allowed onto the pitch, something he has notably struggled with on several occasions. More controversially, he also campaigned for the de-moistening of the Moist Talkers' home field, Spittle Park, claiming that "The water might get into some important wiring or something. I don't know. It could be a health and safety hazard if we- if we ever walked back the rules on not letting androids play blaseball. If people ever wanted to do that, I mean, I don't care either way. But some people might want that. To let robots play blaseball. Maybe it'd be really good if we just gave them a chance."
Notarobot is also known for his signature pitcher's glove, which features the words "This Notamachine Kills Fascists" painted along the side. Though Notarobot is not known for his strong pitching, this may be due to the fact that he tends to prioritize aiming at the heads of nearby authority figures over aiming towards the strike zone.
In Literature
Crabs poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Notarobot:
Human is as human does,
And though his manners are bizarre
The human-est that ever was
Is Oliver, Crabs pitching star
His hands appear as metal claws
Though most humanely he does pitch
He fights all fascists, and God’s laws
His personality’s no glitch
He sleeps within his dinghy dry
As any human would prefer
And none who see him can deny
His playing is quite amateur
Yet, in that word we see the truth
That sets dear Oliver apart:
Notarobot’s no Blabe Ruth
But few real humans have such heart.
