Nolanestophia Patterson
Nolanestophia Patterson (pronounced “Sophia Parson”, as the n, o, l, a, n, e, t, t, t, and e are all silent) is a batter for the Hades Tigers. There is no known relation between Nolanestophia and the Baltimore Crabs’ PolkaDot Patterson.
Career
Nolanestophia started her blaseball career with the Hawaii Fridays, demonstrating a capacity for consistently poor batting. When blessings were applied at the end of Season 1, she joined the Hades Tigers in exchange for Nagomi Mcdaniel[1].
Nolanestophia's pitching ability is estimated to be in the top 1% of all recorded athletes by the Hades Tigers coaching staff. In an interview, Tigers' Coach Kick Rocks explained the reason she hasn't switched positions: "She picks up a bat during practice and says "This just feels right”. She's refused to pitch ever since. Never let go of that bat. We've never looked back."
Despite her consistently poor batting, she is a vital part of the Tigers team[citation needed] and is best-known for clumsily attempting to steal bases. She has a significant personal following (self-dubbed the "Pitter-Pattersons") and successfully launched an extensive merchandise line, including a signature Hades Tigers baseball cap with "Fauxlanestophia" protruding ears.
Pre/Post-game rituals
Nolanestophia is frequently spotted sleeping in impossibly high places. Reports of this behaviour have placed her atop the Tigers stadium and local buildings, and even on top of the floodlights within the stadium. It is yet to be determined how she gets up or down from these elevated positions.
