My Roomie Ruslan

My Roomie Ruslan is a contemporary blaseball sitcom/documentary TV show centered around Philly Pies player Morrow Wilson and their unwanted roommate Ruslan Greatness. The show has proven to be a critical and commercial success, despite Wilson’s repeated attempts to have it cancelled.

History

After a particularly long game during the second season, Philly Pies relief fielder Morrow Wilson returned to their room at the Powelton Village commune to discover fellow Pies pitcher Ruslan Greatness asleep on their couch. Over the next several days Wilson tried repeatedly to get the 7ft bodybuilder to vacate their room but Greatness refused, repeatedly stating that “this home now.”

During practice Wilson would complain to their other teammates about all the annoying habits, shenanigans, and misadventures their unwanted roommate dragged them into. Pies batter Eduardo Woodman decided to stay over at Wilson’s place to see if things were as wild as they claimed. “That night I was exposed to previously unseen levels of comic zaniness,” Woodman later recalled. “It was crystalized sitcom wackiness.”

Using iPhone footage captured from his night at Wilson’s, Woodman created a pilot for My Roomie Wilson and showed to several Hollywood contacts. Almost immediately the show was picked up for six seasons. Cameras were installed in Wilson’s room and a crew was hired to follow both them and Greatness around, filming at all times.

Reception

My Roomie Ruslan premiered to critical acclaim, with viewers praising it for its absurdist humor, lovable characters, and funny accents. Despite their newfound fame, Wilson did not appreciate being filmed 24/7. They sued Woodman and the producers to have My Roomie Ruslan taken off the air. However, after viewing an episode of the show (S2 Ep 9: Ruslan Takes Manhattan) the judge ruled that Wilson had to “make more of this [expletive] comedy gold and inject it into my veins!”

Wilson continues to fight to have the show cancelled and for Greatness to move out of his room. “Please,” pleaded Wilson as they accepted the Emmy for best actor in a comedy. “I just want my couch back.” The only response was thunderous applause.

Notable Episodes

• S1 Ep 5: Double Booked. Today’s the day Morrow will host their monthly Magical Literature Book Club but Ruslan has scheduled his Anvil Lifting Club to meet at the same time! Can the two combine their love of books and weight-lifting so everyone wins? This episode features the first use of Ruslan’s signature catchphrase “That Ruslan’s bad.”
• S2 EP 10: Bad Day at Bethany Beach. Morrow goes to the beach on a date, only to find Ruslan digging up the place looking for a cache of fitness DVDs he buried there in XX95. Greatness’s swimsuit attire in this episode caused the show to be banned in three countries.
• S3 EP 4: Paging Dr. Ruslan. When Morrow is knocked out with the flu it’s up to certified nutritionist Ruslan Greatness to nurse him back to health. Greatness’ rendition of “Conshohocken Lullaby” in this episode, would go on to win a Grammy for best heavy metal single.
• S3 Ep 12: For Whom the Liberty Bell Tolls. With the last Onslaught Opal placed into the crucible, the seal is broken and Philladeltrix starts to transform the land into a phantasmagoria of crust and cheesesteaks. With the rest of the team trapped in the Hellmouth, it’s up to Morrow and Ruslan to team up and save the city.