List of Places Where Malik Destiny is Banned From

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Malik on his way to Adventure. Art by rhystique

Malik Destiny is a lineup player for the Seattle Garages. As a catboy adventurer from an alternate dimension^[Which?], he has frequently been reported to struggle adapting to cultural norms in the immaterial plane. This has not discouraged him from seeking adventure and "sidequests", often to the exhaustion of those around him. In an effort to help reduce friction and potential trouble, a list has been created to track places where Malik Destiny is no longer allowed to go, including the reason that he was banned.

• Pike Place Market: Malik smacked several fish out of the air and tried to eat them without paying. He was also reported to have used his gunblade to stab the famous Monkfish when it startled him by moving after he bent down to look at it. While he claims that it was an act of self defense and that his fur was very poofy from the scare, the management refused to budge on the ban.
• The Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Café. A general ban against cat people is believed to have originated in part from Malik having "beef with many of Randall's 'singular' cat." Nolanestophia Patterson was also banned separately for attempting to adopt "only one cat" by sneaking them out of the door.
• The Ron Monstera Memorial Cat Café and Sanctuary. Similar reasons to the above: Malik does not get along well with many occupants, including Gloves, Cream Cheese, and Caramelized Onions.
• Plottery Barn. Self-explanatory.
• Most craft stores in the Pacific Northwest. Ron Monstera once showed Malik the yarn aisle of a Jlo-Ann Fabrics, a decision he later claimed to regret. It took two hours to cut Malik out of the yarn cocoon he had accidentally tangled himself into.
• Seattle Center Armory. Brought several weapons in, looking to trade them before realizing that the Armory is a food court.
• South Lake Union Transit. Repeatedly complained about loading times before smashing open a window and riding on top "like he was wrangling a giant worm."
• Mike Townsend's workshop. Boasted to Mike about being a Gunbreaker before walking up to the OCTO THUMB and doing just that.
• Seattle Aquarium. Lost a fight with Molalla the river otter, banned as is customary in Aquarium duels.
• A 500 yard radius around the Gävle Goat. General precautions taken after Malik was documented hearing about it and, with wide eyes, muttering "boss battle".
• Tasmania. He knows why.
• Eiffel Tower, Paris. Attempted to climb it to find hidden treasures. Had to be rescued when he cried about not being able to get back down.
• Tokyo Tower, Tokyo. See above.
• Space Needle, Seattle. See above. Do not allow Malik to persuade Durham Spaceman to join him.
• Loch Ness. Malik cannot swim, but insists on finding and fighting Nessie.
• Yellowstone National Ballpark. Did not hug beloved Magic player Washer Barajas and hurt geyr feelings.
• Yellowstone National Parkpark. Catboys named Malik are an invasive species as decreed by the National Park Service. Malik specifically has been reported as banned for, as filed, "CRIMES CRIMES CRIMES".
• The Seattle Garages team Twitter account.