LA Unlimited Tacos

The Los Angeles Tacos are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1. They are managed by Albert "Al" Pastor until the time of Pastor's death, and furthermore following Pastor's return from death.

History

The Los Angeles Tacos were formed from the "only 14 people to sign up for a community Kickball league signup sheet" on the corkboard of a Ralphio's in Van Nuys, California. Upon showing up for the first game, they were outfitted with Blaseball gear by their owner, eccentric former-professional surfer Guy Myrington.

The Tacos were formerly owned by The Dilsney Cooperative as part of their deal to buy Guy Myrington's life rights in order to produce the biopic, I Married My Surfboard. Upon achieving ownership, Dilsney renamed the franchise The Van Nuys Tacos of Anaheim, despite the stadium being a one- to three-hour drive away from Dilsney's fortified stronghold in Orange County, California.

Dilsney was "excellent" at marketing the team, said splorts analysts, but the team "suffered in league rankings" during their tenure. After an unremarkable season and the feature film I Married My Surfboard failing to gross a meaningful portion its $400 million budget, Dilsney and the Tacos formally parted ways, with Myrington regaining his role as franchise owner. Myrington officially returned the team's name to the original Los Angeles Tacos.

Home Stadium

The Los Angeles Tacos' home stadium is the Al Pastor Memorial Park. It is located in the middle of the infamous six-way stop sign intersection in Bleverly Hills. Despite the stadium's construction in ███, the roadway has continued function as an active intersection to this day. Games scheduled during rush hour traffic are known to be especially hazardous, though interference from distracted drivers is not considered foul play.

The signature snack of Al Pastor Memorial Park is the Hotdaco, a hotdog served in a taco shell. It is one of the many^[source?] options available at the Tacos' Build-Your-Own-Taco Bar, which is an oft-advertised perk for season pass holders. Menu options at the BYOTB include but are not limited to: cotton candy, vienna sausages, fermented bean paste, and, on Italian night, spaghetti.

Notable Cheers

The following cheers and chants have been observed by Tacos fans, and are a small representative of an ever-growing list of merriment.

72 and Spicy — the team's official slogan. This includes other derivations of 72°, and of terms for spiciness.
22.2 repeating — the temperature conversion to Celsius for fans in non-US countries.
Live Más — a reference to a now-defunct, turn-of-the-century taco-based dining establishment.
We eatin' tonight; Tonight we feast; and other emphatic turns of phrase referring to consumption of tacos.
Carne Asada, sung in the meter of the 1990s hit single, Macarena.
Liberal use of the taco emoji (🌮).
Occasional use of the pineapple and crown emojis (🍍👑), a reference to franchise manager Al Pastor.

Rivalries

The Los Angeles Tacos' historic rivals are the Chicago Firefighters, due to the Tacos' close relationship to heat and spice, an "association [that] sits too closely" to fire — the sworn enemy of all firefighters.

The relationship first heated up early in Season 2 when when the Tacos swept a series that the Firefighters were favored to win. Tacos pitcher Sexton Wheeler commented on the rivalry, saying, "Water can't calm the blaze on their tongues."

The rivalry may or may not have cooled off when Tacos brand manager Myra Myrington exchanged good-natured banter^[1] with the Firefighters over social media. When asked about the rivalry, Myrington said, "they r sonice tho cant we just be frends??" [sic]. Despite this effort, the teams are not friends at the time of writing.

Players

Batters

Pitchers

Staff

Guy Myrington, Owner
Albert "Al" Pastor, Manager
Myra Myrington, Brand Manager

Season Results

Season 1

The Tacos finished last in the Lawful Good Division with a record of XX-XX. They were also the last place team in the league overall, and faced possible relegation. However, the relegation decree was not declared this season, and the team narrowly avoided hellish removal from the league and/or material plane.

Season 2

After an abysmal first season, the Tacos fared better in The Discipline Era, finishing in 3rd place in the Lawful Good Division with a record of 45-54. They did not advance to the playoffs. Despite their standing among the weakest teams in the overall league on the metric of total star ratings, the Tacos consistently put up what splorts writers called "a pretty good effort," and pulled off a handful of upset victories thanks to hitters Patel Beyonce and Rat Polk, and pitcher Natha Kath.

Fan Art

Logo by Cobaltcakes.

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