Difference between revisions of "Eugenia Garbage"
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| − | {{Player|team=[[Canada Moist Talkers]]|rating=★★|status=Alive; Intact}}''"Talk around the Park is, Eugenia's been calling [[Gleek Arena]] home longer than [[Blaseball]] has. But Eugenia has welcomed their new roomate with a wet, open, maw like a true Moist Talker."'' | + | {{Player|team=[[Canada Moist Talkers]]|rating=★★|status=Alive; Intact|pronouns=they/them|species=Sentient Garbage Hivemind}}''"Talk around the Park is, Eugenia's been calling [[Gleek Arena]] home longer than [[Blaseball]] has. But Eugenia has welcomed their new roomate with a wet, open, maw like a true Moist Talker."'' |
-From 'Gleek Arena's Gargantuan Garbage Star' by [[Paul Cartography]]. [[Halifax Gazette]]. 2004. | -From 'Gleek Arena's Gargantuan Garbage Star' by [[Paul Cartography]]. [[Halifax Gazette]]. 2004. | ||
Revision as of 22:38, 30 July 2020
"Talk around the Park is, Eugenia's been calling Gleek Arena home longer than Blaseball has. But Eugenia has welcomed their new roomate with a wet, open, maw like a true Moist Talker."
-From 'Gleek Arena's Gargantuan Garbage Star' by Paul Cartography. Halifax Gazette. 2004.
Eugenia Garbage is a player for the Canada Moist Talkers.
Every game, as if answering some silent call, Eugenia's form emerges from the Garbage bins behind refreshment stands and washrooms, lurches out from underneath bleachers and up from clogged sinks all over the Arena. Children race hand in hand to follow the oozing slime trails left by the litter, singing the song of Eugenia all the while.
Once reaching a competitive mass, Eugenia gathers in front of the team's mascot, the Belligerent Phleghm Receptacle. In front of the BPR and in full view of devoted, drooling fans, Eugenia coalesces, merging aluminum trash bins with soggy hot dog wrappers to form a skeletal armature. Followed quickly by sopping-wet approximations of soft tissue and so on until it resembles something that once was human.
Dependant on the Arena's garbage supply, Eugenia's physical appearance is known to greatly differ from game to game but somehow, the uniform always fits. Once Eugenia took the field made up entirely of discarded chewing gum, to the delight of fans around the world.
Eugenia is part of a higher consciousness made up of a combination of Garbage from a variety of Splorts Arenas, public parks, and hospitals. Wherever there is Garbage, there is Blaseball and wherever there is Blaseball, there is Garbage.
Siblings
- Eugenia Garbage is the sibling of New York Millennials pitcher Felix Garbage.
