Difference between revisions of "Atlas Jonbois"
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| − | |dates=Aug 5, 2020 | + | <!-- Records: Basic information --> |
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| − | + | |former=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] | |
| − | + | |dates=Aug 5, 2020 <!-- IRL dates active (ex. Jul 20 - Aug 31, 2020) --> | |
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| − | '''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and was with the | + | '''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and was with the team from [[Season 3]], Day 40 until being [[Incineration|incinerated]] on Season 3, Day 43. |
== Official League Records == | == Official League Records == | ||
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|shoe thieves}} | {{FormerTeamCategorySelector|shoe thieves}} | ||
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[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]] | [[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]] | ||
[[Category:Incinerated Players]] | [[Category:Incinerated Players]] | ||
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[[Category:Nominative Determinism]] | [[Category:Nominative Determinism]] | ||
Revision as of 02:42, 21 May 2021
Atlas Jonbois was a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and was with the team from Season 3, Day 40 until being incinerated on Season 3, Day 43.
Official League Records
Jonbois joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves on Season 3, Day 40 after the incineration of Sebastian Townsend.
On Season 3, Day 43, Jonbois was incinerated and replaced by Sebastian Woodman.
At four games played and three games started, Jonbois was the longtime record holder for the shortest career in ILB history, before being surpassed by Kiki Familia of the Canada Moist Talkers, who played 5 innings across two games.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History
Not much is known about the roadmaps that made up the entirety of Jonbois's body, but they appeared to navigate exclusively to Sunken Charleston.
Atlas Jonbois was formerly a tram operator, introduced to the splort of blaseball when they were wrangled into posing as Charleston Shoe Thieves pitcher Cornelius Games during the Season 2 Finals. While their performance as a pitcher was abysmal, they absently tried hitting a few balls for practice after the game and were discovered to be a somewhat competent hitter by the team, putting them in position to be recruited as a replacement lineup player following the Incineration of Sebastian Townsend
When asked about their hopes for new player Atlas Jonbois, the entirety of the Charleston Shoe Thieves responded in deafening unison, "Atlas is big and strong and is my friend."
Everyone is fairly sure that Jonbois would have specialized in stealing ballet shoes, but they never got the chance to officially steal shoes for the team.
In Literature
Following Jonbois's incineration, team eulogist Thacker H. composed "The Ballad of Atlas Jonbois" in their honor:
Well, let me tell you of the story of a map named Atlas
A hitter we barely knew
They kissed the trams farewell, and entered Choux Stadium
To cheer for the Thievin' Shoe
[Chorus]
Well, did they ever return?
No they never returned, and their fate is still unlearned
They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston
They're the map who never returned
Atlas took a wrong turn into the players' dugout
And Cornelius needed relief
Their pitching career was not fated to prosper
But Atlas became a Shoe Thief
[Chorus]
After three short games as a Shoe Thieves slugger
We said "you’re big and strong and my friend!"
But when a rogue umpire lit those maps on fire
Atlas saw their lifetime end
[Chorus]
Now all night long Atlas rides through Sunken Charleston
On a spectral tram they navigate
But their heart is full of blaseball dreams and stolen kicks
Atlas Jonbois will never bow to fate
Well, did they ever return?
No they never returned, and their fate is still unlearned
They may ride forever in Sunken Charleston
They're the map who never returned
Fan Art
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
