UserWiki:Apricots

A Forest Fae’s Found Family

Fairwood Patchwork is a fae who represents The Forest that makes up the upper-outfield of The Big Garage. No one is entirely certain how long Patchwork has lived within the Grove, in large part because Patch does not perceive linear time in the same way the majority of humans and human-adjacent creatures do. However, le has referred to spending time with both Bennett Browning, and Derrick Krueger, so le has been a fixture of The Forest since at least Season 3.

Fairwood Patchwork’s gender identity--and consequently, pronouns--shift to mirror that of the observer. Therefore, to teammate Mike Townsend, Patchwork appears masculine. When talking with Wyatt Mason X, xe uses xe/xem exclusively, and while having conversations with Betsy Trombone, Patchwork identifies as A Problem. This article reflects the pronouns that Patchwork has most recently mirrored.

Patchwork does not consider lirself much of a vocalist, but plays a wide variety of instruments, ranging from Banjo, to Bone-flute (Vulture), to a self-carved hand-harp, to Bone-Flute (Mammoth).

Le is an exceptional crafts-fae, and sews all lir own clothing, including the cloak of flannel le sports whenever le takes the field. Sewn together from the upcycled remains of a myriad of fabrics, the brightly colored cloak makes a dramatic statement whenever le takes to the field. Le has also taken to repairing the myriad of holes in the team’s garments. If there’s one thing grunge anarcho-communists are good at, it’s getting clothes filthy and torn. No matter how frequently seams are blown or knees torn out Fairwood is always available with a smile and a needle and thread. Patches tend to not mesh perfectly with the original design, but the occasional garish hues tend to enhance the team’s ramshackle vibes. Though le does not mend for free, lir payments are minimal, and tailored to each request. Lir work is most frequently done for the cost of an oddly shaped pebble, a bag full of litter disposed of properly, or a story told at her side while le works.

Season 21, Day 57

Patchwork first appeared in response to a tragic showing from pitcher Betsy Trombone. As the tenth run sailed into the trees, and the second digit lit up upon the scoreboard, the ball was returned to the field, held like some holy relic by the ethereal figure from the forest. Le approached the pitcher's mound, still holding the ball, and cleared lir throat. “I wish to play The Splort.” le announced. Betsy rolled her eyes, said something profane, and stomped their way to the dugout to let this new player have a chance.

Life in The Garage

There is some amount of friction between Patchwork and accidental-team captain Theodore Duende. Fae of the Forests and Fae of the Home are well known rivals, and as a Duende, Theodore has been slow to trust the team’s new player. However, his plan of “Nobody make eye contact and he’ll just go away” appears to be failing miserably, and it’s hoped that they’ll both come around eventually[citation needed].

Fairwood has returned to lir Grove within The Forest on multiple occasions, leaving only with cryptic messages regarding lir eventual return. On the first of such journeys, Mcdowell Karim took lir place on the mound. Upon lir return, le declared that The Stalk Market Greenhouse was not large enough, and has taken to expanding the rooftop garden that once belonged to Paula Turnip, and can frequently be seen sleeping amongst the flowering plants and Lotii. Curiously, after each time le has left for The Grove, le returns to tell of differing conversations with various Garages. le claims Derrick Kruger is teaching lim how to pitch better, though given lir casual disregard for past, present, and future tense, what is truly going on in The Forest Grove is anyone’s guess.

When interviewed for “The Lil' Roadies Lil' Morning Show”, Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist Abigail Funke (Age 9) asked Patchwork to describe what drew lim to Blaseball in the first place. The fae explained that le had learned to play The Splort in lir discussions with Derrick Krueger, and expressed distress at the idea that he was “Gone forever”. Later in the interview, Mz. Funke asked what Patchwork’s favorite food was, to which le responded: “The discomfort of people who leave things in the woods”