Silvaire Roadhouse/IF-37.797
Rumor / Community LoreThis article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Silvaire Roadhouse at their Rumor Registry.
The Grands Roadhouse, The Devil of Carrol County, Silvaire the Pair, or most informally, Silvaire Roadhouse, is a granddaughter/grandfather pair of cowboys. The former, Silvaire the Youngest, is a gunslinging butch who looks for horse in all the wrong places. The latter, Silvaire the Eldest, is her immortal grandfather, one of the greatest cowboys in the world and perhaps even in the west, who has joined his consciousness with hers in order to commit great acts of wranglery and frontiersmanship.
Silvaire the Eldest
Not much is known about Silvaire the Eldest's early life. He has said in interviews that he was born in Haiti, but hasn't let slip much more than that. However, behavior patterns and description matched across recovered diaries, newspapers, letters, and county archives have granted historians surprisingly comprehensive insight into his life on the frontier.
One account describes Silvaire the Eldest as
A stranger in town...swallowed by the shade of his hat, with eyes stormy and still...he spoke few words, but those words were rich as cream, their accent thicker...knew his way around cattle better than most men know themselves
Every time he walked into a saloon, the pianist would abruptly stop and all conversation would pause for a tense moment. He meandered the territories performing odd jobs and misadventures that include but are not limited to, ranch handing, fending off bandits, rootin' and tootin', clearing out corrupt sheriffs in the only language they'd listen to, caravan driving, killing giants that he mistook for windmills, train robbing, evading a bounty, barn raising, prospecting, and, of course, ranch handing. It is unknown when or why he was cursed with immortality, but being a good cowboy is an essential component.
As the West settled into the 20th century, he became unmoored, and faded from the written record (except for a very, very brief stint managing a cabaret and possible speakeasy). According to interviews, he said "I knew that immortality meant the world would move past me, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon. It was only after I met ████████, my wife and the love of my life, that I learned how to carve a little place for myself out in the world." The two of them settled down in Oklahoma to raise cattle for a time. During the height of the Dust Bowl, Silvaire the Eldest was seen roaming the land bringing provisions and aid to residents, and faded into folk legend. Thereafter, he was known only by word of mouth from the greatest contemporary cowboys, helping out in a detached way, or coming forward in times of great cow-related crisis, knowing that "though the Wild West is long behind us, there will always be a something in this world needing doin' that only a cowboy can do."
When Silvaire the Youngest was born, her grandfather's love for her brought him out of isolation. He moved to Baltimore to be nearer to her and taught her everything he knew (though she could never figure out horses), and in turn relearned how to be a part of the world. He began practicing interdisciplinary cowboying and took the art of wrangling to new heights. The bond they shared became so powerful that they became able to communicate through one another telepathically.
Silvaire the Youngest
Silvaire the Youngest is horse-blind. She has been seen riding animals like deer, turtles, big isopods, giraffes, █████████, alligators, whales, eagles, and so on, but she just can't really tell what is or isn't a horse—so she assumes they all are, just in case. If it's got four legs, if it's rideable, and if it's got the right attitude, it's a horse...and settling for two out of three of those is good enough sometimes. Cow? Horse. Chair? Horse? Forrest Best? You betcha ass that's a horse. As for horses, well, it's probably stranger yet that there just hasn't been a situation where she and a horse were in a room together, and people have tried, too.
One account describes Silvaire the Youngest as
Lebsbian...she can't stop saying cowboy clichés...has never lost a game of pool, always loses a game of Texas hold'em...a crack shot with spread like frozen butter...her hair is butch but I honestly don't have more to say, it's just like, every butch 'do simultaneously...she broke my nose
Every time she walked into a bar or club, the DJ would play that generic record scratch sound and all conversation would pause for a tense moment. She wears a bird skull on a necklace and a big iron inherited from her grandfather. Despite living well within city limits, she continues to do cowboy things in Baltimore such as cattle driving through Fells Point, cooking chili in alleyways, and repeatedly practicing the "wauwauwaaaah" sound from the Good The Bad And The Ugly theme to herself as she rides around on her not horse.
Silvaire the Youngest did not telepathically channel the power of her grandfather until she was █9, since projecting or hosting the consciousness of another is a seventh level cowboy invocation that cannot be rushed. In her lonesome early life, she put her fledgling cowboy skills to good use: crime. Causing controlled stampedes, she brought unknowable costs in property damage to the meat and dairy industry in the northeast. The bounty on her head was never collected, when questioned about how she's evaded the law thus far she responded, "turns out, if you shoot the deputy too, there's no one left to get you."
Baltimore Crabs
Silvaire Roadhouse the Older and Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger were hired at around the same time by different members of the Baltimore Crabs, though for entirely different reasons. Howard and Dwayne had spoken with one retired cowboy friend of theirs, with whom they've had countless and untold misadventures, and had planned to bring them aboard the team as a coach for hitting home runs. Meanwhile, local trashboy Tillman Henderson had began to put into action a tax evasion scheme involving faking his death and squatting in the Crabitat, and had called butch cowboy and gunslinger Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger in order to help set up the pretense of assassination.
Unfortunately, Silvaire and her grandpa (giving her moral support through his astral-projected form) arrived just in time to witness Tillman go up in smoke, a final middle finger raised against the Umpires and the crowds, and, for lack of any other options in the stadium at the time, were promptly drafted into the team. Their first action was to hit a three-run home run—whether this was "a Tilly Triple from beyond the grave" or simply the new duo's strength is highly contested, but there is no doubt that the Silvaires are, most certainly, naturally born Crabs.
There was some discussion after the game of which Silvaire Roadhouse was the new batter but Howard and Dwayne wisely argued that the name on the contract (signed in Tillman’s ashy blood) only said Silvaire Roadhouse; it didn’t say which one. As such according to ILB regulations there’s no rule saying two people with the same name aren’t the same player.
Silvaire bats with an inherited gunbat that is also the gun she always has at her hip, maybe it's a trick of perspective. Sometimes instead of hitting the ball, she shoots it...in fact, as far as statisticians can tell, every time she tries to swing at the ball she misses or fouls and every time she shoots it she hits it squarely, but she still has to give it a good swing a couple times for some reason.
Silvaire Roadhouse has carcinized in that, every time she ever had to shoot a man, a tiny hermit crab crawled up and into the spent shell that fell at her feet, as a reminder of the lives she's taken. She is followed by a small herd of a little over a dozen of these crabs everywhere she goes.
