Silvaire Roadhouse/IF-128.36

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Silvaire Roadhouse at their Rumor Registry.

The Grands Roadhouse, The Devil of Carrol County, Silvaire the Pair, or most informally, Silvaire Roadhouse, is a granddaughter/grandfather pair. The former, Silvaire the Youngest, is an aspiring matador, always in her suit of lights and ready to kill. The latter, Silvaire the Eldest, was a man who loved his granddaughter so much that he picked up everything there is to know about cows and bulls when he heard his granddaughter speak of her dreams—and delved so deep into the study of the cow that he was imbibed with the Spirit of the West and became an immortal avatar of cowboyhood. Silvaire the Eldest imparts his True Knowledge of all things bovine to his granddaughter through astral projection.

Fans would watch a butch woman in elaborate matador garb, sword in hand, step up to plate, and suddenly undergo a dazzling magical girl transformation where she becomes an unwashed hick in a ten gallon hat.

Every time Silvaire pulls out her gun, it's a different gun, but it's always a revolver. Even when the gun is absolutely not a revolver.

Baltimore Crabs

Silvaire Roadhouse the Older and Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger were hired at around the same time by different members of the Baltimore Crabs, though for entirely different reasons. Howard and Dwayne had spoke with one retired cowboy friend of theirs, with whom they've had countless and untold misadventures, and had planned to bring them aboard the team as a coach for hitting home runs. Meanwhile, local trashboy Tillman Henderson had began to put into action a tax evasion scheme involving faking his death and squatting in the Crabitat, and had called Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger in order to help set up the pretense of assassination.

Unfortunately, Silvaire and her grandpa (giving her moral support through his astral-projected form) arrived just in time to witness Tillman go up in smoke, a final middle finger raised against the Umpires and the crowds, and, for lack of any other options in the stadium at the time, were promptly drafted into the team. Their first action was to hit a three-run home run—whether this was "a Tilly Triple from beyond the grave" or simply the new duo's strength is highly contested, but there is no doubt that the Silvaires are, most certainly, naturally born Crabs.

There was some discussion after the game of which Silvaire Roadhouse was the new batter but Howard and Dwayne wisely argued that the name on the contract (signed in Tillman’s ashy blood) only said Silvaire Roadhouse; it didn’t say which one. As such according to ILB regulations there’s no rule saying two people with the same name aren’t the same player.

Silvaire bats with an inherited gunbat that is also the gun she always has at her hip, maybe it's a trick of perspective. Sometimes instead of hitting the ball, she shoots it...in fact, as far as statisticians can tell, every time she tries to swing at the ball she misses or fouls and every time she shoots it she hits it squarely, but she still has to give it a good swing a couple times for some reason.

Silvaire Roadhouse has carcinized in that, every time she ever had to shoot a man, a tiny hermit crab crawled up and into the spent shell that fell at her feet, as a reminder of the lives she's taken. She is followed by a small herd of a little over a dozen of these crabs everywhere she goes.