Parker Parra/IF-208.20
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In The Tabloids
Now defunct Baltimore based Blaseball Tabloid magazine "Shells Cracked" ran a supposedly in-depth article Titled "You won't BELIEVE what Parker Parra does in their spare time!" about Parker Parra on their personal life. This article, written by Camilla R.A. Bubblegum, included the following things:
- A "Non-exhaustive" list of their hobbies, including; Knitting, painting, drinking coffee, breathing, not making direct eye contact, swimming, petting crabs, breathing life into inanimate objects, walking, practicing Blaseball, origami, and looking at the stars.
- Segments of what is assumed to be an interview, but due to informal and sometimes nonsensical answers from Parra's to the questions asked, some readers speculate that it was actually a recording of an eavesdropped conversation. Excerpts include "Hi, sorry I'm late [inaudible], Bustacean was late. Thanks for the coffee!" in responce to a greeting, "Oh, yeah, the little crabs are my favourite origami to make" when asked about their teeth brushing habits, and "Of course I will. You know me." When asked about aspirations for reaching the Season 4 ILB Finals.
- ███████ featuring ████ and ████ of Parra, presented in "marvelous 3D, now with sound" according to the magazine headline. As such issues with this part of the article still in tact is a collector's item, as some claim after witnessing this part of the article, the pages it was inscribed on burst into flames. It's unknown whether these rumors are true as prices for this issue of the magazine are so astronomically high that fans and museums alike are afraid to test the validity of this claim.
- Supposed evidence of Parra's ability to shape-shift. This claim was not founded with sources or pictures within the article and thus is largely considered to be a baseless rumor.
- Pictures of Parra on the Blaseball field. This made this particular issue of the magazine legally required to say "The Commissioner is doing a great job!" and "We are all love Blaseball" on both the front and back cover or face ramifications of ██████████████. Luckily, this is a frequent occurrence for Shells Cracked so no one had to face the ramifications.
- A segment about Parra's rumored relationship with Hades Tigers pitcher Yazmin Mason. This claim in the article being supported by the two of them being "seen practicing together in both the Sixth Circle Stadium and the Crabitat during the Grand Siesta, despite Mason being a pitcher, and Parra a batter. When asked about these rumors in the article a flustered Parra was quoted as saying: "What? Uh, no! That'd be against league regulations... Well, I mean... Plus it would affect my career, yeah? So when we practice together it's strictly, uh, friendly!" These rumors have been ███████.
