Mike Townsend

Mike Townsend
Basic Information
Team	Seattle Garages
Status	Alive
Biographical Details
Nickname(s)	TOWNSEND!, Three and Oh Townsend, mike, miiiike, miike no, 👍
Other Background Information
Signature Pitch(es)	Eephus, a different eephus, knuckleball
Reputation	Major disappointment, total disgrace

Mike Townsend is a starting pitcher for the Seattle Garages. Townsend has been with the team since Season 1. He is best known for being the nominal ace of the Garages pitching staff despite consistently being rated, at one star, among the worst pitchers in Internet League Blaseball.

Internet League Blaseball Career

After being blessed with pseudo-thumbs at the end of Season 2, Townsend earned his first win of the season in a 13-7 decision over the Hellmouth Sunbeams. He won his next two starts before losing his fourth, earning the nickname "Three and Oh Townsend".

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Blaseball

Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than him, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. This has led some observers to believe that Townsend is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball. Despite his weak statistics and poor reputation, Townsend has performed well historically against slugger Jessica Telephone. The reason for this unlikely success is hotly debated by fans.

Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only increased the friction between Townsend and the rest of the Garages.

Townsend has a two-pitch arsenal, both of which are eephus pitches he insists are different. After being blessed with pseudo-thumbs, he developed what blaseball scouts think is a knuckleball.

Music

Townsend is a former member of the Garages' band, Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages^{[citation needed]}, and the frontman and sole member of The Who's on First (formerly known as The Way Cooler Anyway Mike Townsend Solo Project).

Townsend is the subject of the Garages song "Mike Townsend (Is a Disappointment)". The song depicts Townsend being a disappointment, a loser, and a total disgrace.

Personal life

Townsend was born in and currently lives in Bellevue, Washington. Some suspect that this is the reason for his limited Blaseball success and soured reputation.

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