Difference between revisions of "Mike Townsend"
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| − | {{Player|team=[[Seattle Garages]]|status=Alive|rating=★|nickname=''TOWNSEND!'', mike, miiiike, miike no, 👍|signature_pitch(es)=Eephus, a different eephus, knuckleball|image1=Mike_Townsend_-_photo_intentionally_omitted.png|reputation=Major disappointment, total disgrace}} | + | {{Player|team=[[Seattle Garages]]|status=Alive|rating=★|nickname=''TOWNSEND!'', Three and Oh Townsend, mike, miiiike, miike no, 👍|signature_pitch(es)=Eephus, a different eephus, knuckleball|image1=Mike_Townsend_-_photo_intentionally_omitted.png|reputation=Major disappointment, total disgrace}}'''Mike Townsend''' is a starting pitcher for the [[Seattle Garages]]. Townsend has been with the team since [[Season 1]]. He is best known for being the nominal ace of the Garages pitching staff despite consistently being rated, at one star, among the worst pitchers in [[Internet League Blaseball]]. |
| − | + | ==Internet League Blaseball Career== | |
| + | After being [[Blessing|blessed]] with [[Season_2#Blessings_2|pseudo-thumbs]] at the end of [[Season 2]], Townsend earned his first win of the season in a 13-7 decision over the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]]. He won his next two starts before losing his fourth, earning the nickname "Three and Oh Townsend". | ||
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{{Community Lore}} | {{Community Lore}} | ||
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== History == | == History == | ||
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=== Blaseball === | === Blaseball === | ||
Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than him, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. This has led some observers to believe that Townsend is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball. Despite his weak statistics and poor reputation, Townsend has performed well historically against slugger [[Jessica Telephone]]. The reason for this unlikely success is hotly debated by fans. | Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than him, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. This has led some observers to believe that Townsend is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball. Despite his weak statistics and poor reputation, Townsend has performed well historically against slugger [[Jessica Telephone]]. The reason for this unlikely success is hotly debated by fans. | ||
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Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only increased the friction between Townsend and the rest of the Garages. | Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only increased the friction between Townsend and the rest of the Garages. | ||
| − | Townsend has a two-pitch arsenal, both of which are eephus pitches he insists are different. | + | Townsend has a two-pitch arsenal, both of which are eephus pitches he insists are different. After being blessed with pseudo-thumbs, he developed what blaseball scouts think is a knuckleball. |
=== Music === | === Music === | ||
Revision as of 15:00, 8 August 2020
Mike Townsend is a starting pitcher for the Seattle Garages. Townsend has been with the team since Season 1. He is best known for being the nominal ace of the Garages pitching staff despite consistently being rated, at one star, among the worst pitchers in Internet League Blaseball.
Internet League Blaseball Career
After being blessed with pseudo-thumbs at the end of Season 2, Townsend earned his first win of the season in a 13-7 decision over the Hellmouth Sunbeams. He won his next two starts before losing his fourth, earning the nickname "Three and Oh Townsend".
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History
Blaseball
Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than him, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. This has led some observers to believe that Townsend is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball. Despite his weak statistics and poor reputation, Townsend has performed well historically against slugger Jessica Telephone. The reason for this unlikely success is hotly debated by fans.
Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only increased the friction between Townsend and the rest of the Garages.
Townsend has a two-pitch arsenal, both of which are eephus pitches he insists are different. After being blessed with pseudo-thumbs, he developed what blaseball scouts think is a knuckleball.
Music
Townsend is a former member of the Garages' band, Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages[citation needed], and the frontman and sole member of The Who's on First (formerly known as The Way Cooler Anyway Mike Townsend Solo Project).
Townsend is the subject of the Garages song "Mike Townsend (Is a Disappointment)". [1] The song depicts Townsend being a disappointment, a loser, and a total disgrace.
Personal life
Townsend was born in and currently lives in Bellevue, Washington. Some suspect that this is the reason for his limited Blaseball success and soured reputation.
