Difference between revisions of "Mike Townsend"
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| − | {{Player|team=[[Seattle Garages]]|status=Alive|rating=★|nickname=The Pledge, The Turn, The, The Epipen|signature_pitch(es)=Eephus, a different eephus, | + | {{Player|team=[[Seattle Garages]]|status=Alive|rating=★|nickname=The Pledge, The Turn, The, The Epipen|signature_pitch(es)=Eephus, a different eephus, knuckleball|image1=Mike_Townsend_-_photo_intentionally_omitted.png|nickname=mike, miiiike, miike no, 👍|reputation=Major disappointment, total disgrace}} |
'''Mike Townsend''' is a major disappointment, total disgrace, and starting pitcher for the [[Seattle Garages]]. He is also a former member of the Garages' band, [[The Garages|Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages]]{{CitationNeeded}}, and the frontman and sole member of [[The Who's on First]] (formerly known as The Way Cooler Anyway Mike Townsend Solo Project). | '''Mike Townsend''' is a major disappointment, total disgrace, and starting pitcher for the [[Seattle Garages]]. He is also a former member of the Garages' band, [[The Garages|Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages]]{{CitationNeeded}}, and the frontman and sole member of [[The Who's on First]] (formerly known as The Way Cooler Anyway Mike Townsend Solo Project). | ||
Revision as of 14:34, 8 August 2020
Mike Townsend is a major disappointment, total disgrace, and starting pitcher for the Seattle Garages. He is also a former member of the Garages' band, Mike Townsend and the Seattle Garages[citation needed], and the frontman and sole member of The Who's on First (formerly known as The Way Cooler Anyway Mike Townsend Solo Project).
Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than him, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. This has led some obververs to believe that Townsend is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball. Despite his weak statistics and poor reputation, Townsend has performed well historically against slugger Jessica Telephone. The reason for this unlikely success is hotly debated by fans.
Townsend has a two-pitch arsenal, both of which are eephus pitches he insists are different.
After being blessed with pseudo-thumbs at the end of Season 2[1], Townsend earned his first win of the season with a 13-7 win over the Hellmouth Sunbeams. He won his next two starts before losing his fourth, earning the nickname "Three and Oh Townsend".
Personal life
Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only increased the friction between Townsend and the rest of the Garages.
Townsend was born in and currently lives in Bellevue, Washington. Some suspect that this is the reason for his limited Blaseball success and soured reputation.
Music
Townsend is the subject of the Garages song, Mike Townsend (Is a Disappointment). [2] The song depicts Townsend being a disappointment, a loser, and a total disgrace.
