Finn James/IF-1.2017/Stories

This is a collection of stories Finn James has told about their origins at different times - This is a collection of all of the Stories James has told.

Early life

Finn James grew up wandering the rivers and lakes of South America until 1962, when she was captured by the United States military and brought to a secret government laboratory in Baltimore. A short time later, James escaped the laboratory with the help of several employees and fled to the waters of the Chesapeake Bay, where she lived for several decades before being compelled by The Olde One to join The Baltimore Crabs. (see: Combs Duende)

In Film

Finn James is close personal friends with renowned filmmaker Guillermo del Toro, whose 2017 Academy Award-winning biography The Shape of Water depicts James's early experiences in Baltimore.

Origin

After the untimely demise of Combs Duende, the baton of captain was hurriedly passed to Kennedy Loser, who was faced with his first challenge as a leader: Finding a new member of the lineup for the Baltimore Crabs. Thinking quickly Loser rushed off to his garage to dig up an old inflatable tube person from his time as a used car salesman. Thus the Crab’s newest player “Finn James” was added to the roster. This proved to be a poor choice for batting, but remarkably capable when it came to pitching. James also managed to popularize their own version of the wave among Crabs fans, and was known to refuse any signs, advertisements, or accoutrements other than their Crabs jersey as they are “a free tube person and does not work for you”.

History

Finn James was first witnessed as a school of 23-28 privately educated fish of various species by Chlarles Dlarwin in 1834. Since these humble beginnings James has grown into a school of 24-29 privately educated fish of various species, almost all of which have now completed their PHDs. Due to each PHD being awarded for Splort Astrology, James is unfortunately both overqualified and under qualified for all employment, and has spent much of their life explaining this issue to others. They were awarded an additional doctorate in 2007 for their tireless work in the field of Regretting Their Education.

Blaseball Career

Finn James was summoned to the Blaseball field for the Baltimore Crabs during Season 4, Game 63. Despite very literally being fish out of water, they made a valiant effort to play the splort. In the post-game interview they stated that they were "honestly, just happy to finally have a job", before attempting to guess the interviewer's star sign, loudly exclaiming "I knew it!", despite having made 11 incorrect guesses.

History

Finn James is the last surviving member of an pre-historic species of amphibian humanoids whose origins dated back to the Devonian Era. Their fossilised remains slumbered in the Chesapeake Bay for aeons while legends of the "man-fish" flourished on the streets of Baltimore.

Blaseball Career

Upon the incinerations of Combs Duende the Mother Crab required a new batter for it's beloved Baltimore Crabs and awoke Finn James.

While Finn James is not a crustacean of any nature they have a great appreciation for all things crab and have began to show up to games with a novelty crab hat and novelty foam claw hands. They've become a strong advocated of putting Old Bay Seasoning on everything (including ice cream and cookies), referring to the seasoning as a gift from The Olde One. James does not show up to practice. They materialise from a puddle of sludge at the start of every game. In spite of their strange appearance, inconsistent appearance and replacing the beloved Duende the Crabs faithful have embraced James in much the same way James has embraced Old Bay.