This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Finn James at their Rumor Registry.
Finn James’ origins are a highly disputed topic among both Crabs fans and local Baltimore citizens. This is not helped by James’ insistence on explaining their origins to anyone who asks, and always giving wildly different answers. When confronted on this topic they simply responded that “it’s all true, especially the parts that can’t be”.
Finn James hatched in a pet store that was next to a splorts bar, and he would watch blaseball in his spare time. Between blaseball seasons 3 and 4, he figured that he would be good at blaseball if he practiced enough, but since there was no blaseball equipment inside the pet store, he whittled his own jlavelins and practiced throwing them. When one of his homemade jlavelins pierced an irreparable hole in the fish tank he was living in at the time, he left the pet store to go practice with some real blaseball equipment. He randomly swam until he reached the Chesapeake Bay, where his claws grew in due to the brackish water. Because of this, he knew he was destined to play for the Crabs. He finally found a blaseball, and he made his way over to the Crabitat.
Or that least that's how Finn tells it.
Career with the Crabs
Despite the many stories James tells of their origins, one thing quickly became obvious to the Baltimore Crabs - Finn James very much enjoyed the splort of blaseball. While it was well known that “Finn James wins games” their reputation never quite reached the intensity of their teammate Brock Forbes nor did their strategic prowess. James did however take the opportunity to set themselves up in what became known as the “pitchers apartment” shared by Forbes, Adalberto Tosser and occasionally Tillman Henderson. James was often said to have simply let themselves in one day and taken up residence in the spare bathroom, refusing to leave and driving up the water bill. James did however keep up with the Crab’s reputation - being among the only players to pitch a perfect game in the Discipline Era, and helping the Crabs arrive at ascension in Season 10.
In the time after ascension Finn James had cemented themselves as a core member of the Baltimore Crabs, and a part of this involved taking up a leadership role with the Crab’s varied pitchers, guiding practice and dolling out tips for their teammates, especially after the loss of the Crabs other original pitchers, Adalberto Tosser and Brock Forbes.
James’ teaching style was said to consist mostly of telling other players to throw “like this” which garnered a mixed reaction from their pupils. Parker Parra seemed to enjoying using these practices to throw pitches “so far away from the strike zone that it's in danger of beaning the on-deck batter”. Lorcan Smaht was able to follow along well until eir alternation, at which point ey joined teammate Axel Campbell in describing the practices as “basically useless”. Alston Cerveza however stood out as one of James’ fans, fondly recounting the story of going to James for advice before his debut game as a pitcher, and having James simply tell him how to pitch a perfect game; which he then proceeded to do. Neither Campbell or Smaht were available for comment after the event.
Despite Montgomery Bullock’s brief return to the team, they were content to let James keep their position as pitching coach as “they seemed like they were having a lot of fun with it”.
The Event Horizon
As the end of the era drew closer, James found themselves reaching out to the newer members of the team to help them deal with the stress of their impending transition into whatever was coming next. Being a veteran of ascension, it was something that they were both equipped to handle and eager to help with. While team captain Kennedy Loser was there to supply the quiet reassurance he could carry, James was able to lend a hand with more lighthearted antics and diversions. Lorcan Smaht in particular appreciated James’ willingness to let the big issues lie as they helped em through eir alternation, and the trade of eir sibling Trinity Smaht.
When the Blackhole (blackhole) came for the Crabs, James made sure they could greet it with no regrets.