This page documents the Blaseball community, Discord culture, and the organizations, resources, and artwork created by its fans.
Clawmentary refers to the tradition of fans of the Baltimore Crabs calling blaseball games in their discord server.
A Brief History of Clawmentary
While the Baltimore Crabs are not the only people teams doing game commentary, the Crabitat holds game commentary, or Clawmentary, in a special place in their hearts.
The first instance of Clawmentary was in Season 3 when Emma jumped on mic and called a couple games. With some help from one of the server admins Evan, they eventually started getting more elaborate with sound effects and music including the beloved pep crab. She was soon joined by Sar, which led to more people signing on and casting games on the server, and the tradition of Clawmentary was born.
While there have been many, many games cast on the server there are some that stand out as particularly historic. These include:
Season 6 Day 8
When Riley cast a game that got stuck on “Dominic Marijuana batting for the Millennials” for about 10 minutes, and rather than taking a break he proceeded to vamp the whole time. While what exactly was said has been lost to the ages, there were cries from the stands of “tillman has called an uber” and “get em crab scott”
Season 7 Day 32
Emma was so focused on the game he was casting that she didn’t notice the first activations of the unstable modifier, or the #watchparty channel shouting about all the death on what later became known as Ruby Tuesday. Shortly after the game ended a few listeners unmuted so they could ask Emma for their thoughts on the incinerations and sources say he “absolutely lost it”.
Season 8 Day 112
The finals of the postseason. Originally scheduled to be clawmentated by Occam he unfortunately had computer problems, and the cast died in the second inning. With the whole server watching, Tempest - a first time clawmentator- was the one to break the silence. He jumped in and got through most of the inning, but that was all it took to inspire the rest of the server into action. Someone suggested switching commentators every inning, and the Crabs had their first game of popcorn commentary. By inning 9 Occam was able to rejoin, and finished off one of the most iconic Clawmentaries in the Discipline Era.
Season 9 Day 103
Alex cast her first game. Thinking it would be a nice low pressure game (the first in the postseason), Alex picked it precisely because she assumed nothing would happen. At 8AM EST the game started up and the league watched together as Nagomi McDaniel was finally freed from her shell after 3 seasons and the crowd went wild.
Season 9 Day X
The first Pods battle. While it started as the Crabs discussing the finals and the postseason in the voice call, it quickly descended into chaos as the Shelled One descended. After an inning of confusion a voice suggested:
“Hey does anyone want to call this?”
And so began a round of impromptu popcorn Clawmentary with Clawmentators swapping out every inning, Alex reading out the Shelled One’s messages as they came in, and over 100 people tuned in on discord.
Coffee Cup round 2 Day 4
A notable entry on the schedule had Emma signed up for casting all four of the ongoing games during the Coffee Cup. In a feat of endurance, training, and undoubtedly a lot of caffeine, he proceeded to run in double time, calling all four games with nothing but the occasional [FOGHORN SOUND] and double-time musical queues to take a breath. Truly a game worthy of being called “Wired”.
Season 12 Day 79
While the Crabs had recently returned, they still hadn’t started playing games again so while they were gone the Crabs scratched that clawmentating itch by commentating other team’s games. On this auspicious Thursday once again Emma took up a new persona to call a game with the Jazz Hands. Unbeknownst to them a few games over the season had it’s only two incinerations while they were commenting on the infrequency of weather and singing the refrain of “He had it coming”. Naturally as soon as the game ended the server gleefully informed Emma that he had somehow managed to pull another Ruby Tuesday cast. She responded that “I will never read the chat [...] “oh no they have airpods in” lives on forever.”