UserWiki:Robbie Burkhart/TestPage
Wanda Schenn is a player with planetoid physiology who uses they/them pronouns.
Like all of us, they are from Chicago. Their jersey number is 513.
Appearance
Schenn’s form has been described in a variety of ways. Whether this is due to them appearing to each person differently or them being able to consciously shift their form is unknown. Reports have emerged of a human-sized planet, a planet shaped like a human, and a planet-sized planet. When asked to describe themselves, Schenn responded with incomprehensible growls and rumbling noises best measured using the Richter scale.
Scientific Classification
Their mutable form and the appearance of being an entire planet has led to some curious investigation from Flermilab. Per a report published shortly after Schenn’s arrival in Chicago, Schenn is a class-M superterran planet, having a mass approximately equivalent to 5.13 Earths. How this does not have any noticeable effect on other gravitational fields remains a mystery, especially since Schenn occasionally uses gravitational effects to play blaseball.
Scientists committed to the pedantic use of scientific terminology note that Schenn does not “technically qualify” as a planet as they do not orbit a star, seeing as Sun 2’s appearance is inconsistent at best. “Everyone else says it’s close enough,” the principal investigator at Flermilab noted, “which means it’s good enough for me.”
It has been noted that Schenn’s surface supports some form of life, although all attempts to communicate with sentient life have failed. This may be related to the dense atmosphere characteristic of superterran planets, some other quirk of Schenn’s planetoid physiology, or a lack of truly sentient lifeforms. Studies of this phenomenon remain ongoing.
Known Moons and Satellites
Schenn has a number of satellites, including a number of rocky moons and man-made satellites. Flermilab has attempted to document them but has struggled to keep accurate and precise records, especially since they seem to appear and disappear at random.
The moon or satellite described here may not be the same every time.
JB 847. JB 847 is a self-sustaining unmanned satellite launched by Flermilab in honor of the late Joshua Butt after their incineration. Its stated purpose is to “keep Schenn company.”
Trivia
- Schenn’s magnetic field is a frequent hazard to nearby scientific instruments; as such, they are barred from unauthorized access to any Chicago-local colleges and universities.
- Schenn is a legal gray area as both planet and blaseball player, leading to several notable civil suits that had to be brought to intergalactic court.
- Schenn is sponsored by a small family-owned deli in Little Italy.
- Schenn is terrible at playing the theremin. Several public incidents have been reported to the relevant authorities, though no formal changes have been made.
- Schenn has received their Firefighter certification, though exactly how is not known.
