User:Jayemaul
Time on the Millennials
(Uncle to Fynn Doyle)
Time on the Breath Mints
On Season 15, Day 52, during a game against the Kansas City Breath Mints, Uncle Plasma entered the Crime Scene at The Meadow to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Brisket Friendo from the Breath Mints’ Shadows. As a prerequisite to the investigation, Breath Mints General Manager Max Betmint insisted that Plasma sign a temporary team transfer contract, as well as a non-disclosure agreement, confidentiality agreement, end-of-life plan, performance contract, digital image license, employee privacy policy, end user license agreement, letter of recommendation, equipment rental agreement, personal financial statement, hold-harmless indemnity agreement, survivorship deed, vehicle leasing agreement, website terms and conditions, and liability waver. During the Season 15 elections, it was revealed that due to a hidden clause in the temporary team transfer contract, the contract was actually permanent, signing Uncle Plasma to Kansas City's pitching rotation for the foreseeable future.
Though a dedicated detective and pitcher, Plasma enjoys frequent vacations, often visiting Schlitterbahn Waterpark Kansas City after making use of The Meadow’s Fax Machine. Plasma does not seem bothered by the fact that the park has been closed for several years.
After a few seasons with the Mints, Plasma began mentoring batter Kina Larsen as a junior detective, taking hir under his wing. A quick and eager learner, Larsen soon found far more investigative success than Plasma, having sought out and returned home numerous Elsewhere players, while Plasma has found exactly zero clues over many seasons with the Mints. When asked about Larsen’s talent in comparison to his own, Plasma has only glowed with pride, and is said to always keep an almond joy in the pocket of his trenchcoat for the young gumshoe.
Plasma, like all Breath Mints, has failed the bar exam.
Excerpts from Plasma’s Notes
(IRM format - missattributed quotes should include the real source in a footnote)
- “coyotes”
- “get chapel killed”
- The existence of Fish Summer implies a Fish Winter…
- what is it about buttermilk that make you drive real good
- the human mind... perhaps the most powerful weapon. second only to the "GUN" (https://twitter.com/dril/status/813966376327086080)
- big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck (https://twitter.com/dril/status/398879478912258048)
- see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? crying. my beautiful partner? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office (https://twitter.com/dril/status/158042815128023040)
- im afraid i must say that i do not find the mysteries featured on "scooby-doo" challenging enough . (https://twitter.com/dril/status/934242047015387136)
- just found out about Object Permanence... why didnt any one tell me about this shit (https://twitter.com/dril/status/1108543516227985408)
- should i learn Letters first? or choose the path of Numbers? a queston every baby must ask it self (https://twitter.com/dril/status/1329464017417474048)
Chants
- All according to Plansma!
- Get Unc’d on!
- get chapel killed
