Difference between revisions of "Tillman Henderson"
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== Extended Siesta Hijinks == | == Extended Siesta Hijinks == | ||
− | During the extended siesta, Tillman was revealed to have a large group of apparently defective Tillman Clones, they were defective in that kindness was their disposition as opposed to cruelty. Through a short twitter arg in which [[Henry Marshallow]], [[Oliver Notarobot]], and [[Fitz Blackburn]] hunted down the Henderson Camp, accidentally revealing the location to Tillman. Even though they were trying to help, through their actions Tillman was able to find this base of clones and destroy them all. | + | During the extended siesta, Tillman was revealed to have a large group of apparently defective Tillman Clones, they were defective in that kindness was their disposition as opposed to cruelty. Through a short twitter arg in which [[Henry Marshallow]], [[Oliver Notarobot]], and [[Fitz Blackburn]] hunted down the Henderson Camp, accidentally revealing the location to Tillman. Even though they were trying to help, through their actions Tillman was able to find this base of clones and destroy them all. |
All except for [https://twitter.com/TillmanBlaller Tilllman], the french speaking Tillman clone who showed up late to the Sanctuary. | All except for [https://twitter.com/TillmanBlaller Tilllman], the french speaking Tillman clone who showed up late to the Sanctuary. |
Revision as of 01:34, 13 August 2020
Tillman Henderson is a player for the Baltimore Crabs who has played for the team since Season 1.
Official League Records
Henderson currently has no notable events in the official record books
History
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him. He does not have depression, despite the knock off Achewood t-shirt.
He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.
Henderson is frequently rude to support staff, medical staff and the wizard staff which hovers in the center of the Crabs' dressing room. He is constantly late to training, usually due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. He never fetches his own balls.
He has faced strong backlash from fan organizations for posting fan art without crediting the artists on social media. His response of "idk who did it I just found it" was not well-received either.
Henderson claims to have discovered "Tillman Juice", a mixture of Four Loko and orange Gatorade. He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated.
He always makes a huge mess in restaurants, and never tips. He has several driving offences, and always parks at a 35-70° angle. He is currently being investigated for several thousands of dollars worth of unpaid tickets. It is unclear why he still has a license.
Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.
Extended Siesta Hijinks
During the extended siesta, Tillman was revealed to have a large group of apparently defective Tillman Clones, they were defective in that kindness was their disposition as opposed to cruelty. Through a short twitter arg in which Henry Marshallow, Oliver Notarobot, and Fitz Blackburn hunted down the Henderson Camp, accidentally revealing the location to Tillman. Even though they were trying to help, through their actions Tillman was able to find this base of clones and destroy them all.
All except for Tilllman, the french speaking Tillman clone who showed up late to the Sanctuary.
In Literature
Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following poem about Henderson, although he said he "didn't want to":
To write a poem on Tillman is a chore
This unpleasant rotten whiny sad disgrace
Who perhaps it is much better to ignore
I have seen him punch a grandma in the face
Throughout Baltimore his name will earn a curse
And he’s been thrown out of nearly every place
Yes, it’s very hard to find a person worse
He trips waiters when he visits all cafés
And the way he parks his car is near perverse
Plus, of pitching little talent he betrays
His ERA is in the stratosphere
We’re glad he pitches just once in five days
Yet as crass and rude and stupid he appears
If he ever wins a game he’ll earn our cheers.
External Links
The leader of the Tillmaniacs, Tillman's fanclub
Tillman's podcast, The Tillman Experience
Edit History
- Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
- Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
- Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
- Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
- Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
- Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
- Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
- Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020