PolkaDot Patterson
PolkaDot Patterson is a player for the Canada Moist Talkers who originally played for the Kansas City Breath Mints during Season 1 and for the Baltimore Crabs during Season 2.
Patterson has 87 fingers. This allows them to apply four-dimensional spin to the ball.
PolkaDot Patterson... How do you even begin to explain PolkaDot Patterson? PolkaDot Patterson is flawless. They have two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. Their hair is insured for $10000. I hear they do car commercials in Japan. Their favorite movie is Varsity Blues. One time, they met John Stamos on a plane and he told them they were pretty.
Patterson's Regular Edition Discipline Era Photo Card (fig.2) has seen significant degradation due to Patterson's signature emanations. Patterson's Special Edition Discipline Era Photo Card (fig.3) has been reconstructed from photographer descriptions. The photographer has seen significant degradation due to Patterson's signature emanations.
Time with the Baltimore Crabs
After receiving a "Max Out Pitcher" blessing and switching teams at the end of Season 1, Patterson was regarded as a Messianic figure by the Crabs, many of whom believed Patterson to be their savior. Just one season later, Patterson was switched, to the dismay of many, with the Moist Talkers' Oliver Notarobot.
Patterson was also largely responsible for the Crabs' legendary 20-inning game against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on day 52 of Season 2, which resulted in an 8-6 win for the Crabs.
Time with the Canada Moist Talkers
At the start of Season 3, Patterson was switched with the Moist Talkers' Oliver Notarobot.
Nicknames
- Saint Patterson
- PdP
- PeePee
- P O L K A D O T
- Mound guardian, guardian of the mound
- The arm(s) that won't quit
- p̗̹͕̰̤̭͇͐͛̿̅̔͊̄̀̚͟ͅŏ̶̧̼̹͉͙̟̀̊̌̿̑͘l̶̙̰͙̜̫͖͕̮̜͚͂̓̂͛͊̚k̸̤͓̘̦̙͓͈̮̖͂̆̂̑͛̽͆́͘̚͢a̸̧͎͉̬̻͗̓̅̅̐̀͌̿͜͡͞ḅ̷̨̬̹̼͑̆͂̿͂̏͊̂͌ȩ̴͙͓̩͈̤̳̰̈͌́͆́̓̚ả̵̛̲̖͇̹͉̊̐̍͛͆͒͡s̸̳̻̱͕̘̻̦̬̔͌̊̏̃̈͝͞t̡̧̪̝͓̟͓̙͊̇̂̅͐̕͟͜3̧̝̰͓̗̗̊́̐̿͂̏́͘̕͡0̩̲̗̺̥̰̯̊̂̈̿̚0̵̥͎͓͓͓̭̯̼̞͖̿̀̇̂̈́̓͗͛̀̚0̨̢̛̪̱̺͎͑̃͋̊̈̚͟
Blaseball Cards
Season 2, Regular Edition (@Slagstorm)
Season 1, Regular Edition (Damaged) (src: l. coeruleus)
Season 2, All-Star Edition (@Slagstorm)
Season 2: Special Edition Photo Card (src: l. coeruleus)
Season 2: Regular Edition Photo Card (src: l. coeruleus)
