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| − | ==Personal Life== | + | ==Contractual Gender Consumption== |
| − | Luis Acevedo is a marimba player for the Modal Garages Of Seattle. Acevedo's history is often in question due to how ██████ changes after ██████ events, the details of which are archived for ████ resource designation by Seattle Garages Clubhouse Management.
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| − | ====19th Century====
| + | By reading this page, you have agreed to the terms and conditions that cede your gender over to '''Luis Acevedo''' for the purposes of consumption, and nothing else. Be advised that '''Luis Acevedo''' receives no nutritional benefit from eating your gender, and merely does it for splort. There will be no compensation. Please head to the [[Chesapeake Racetrack and Ballpark|Crabitat]], the [[Wapakoneta Air, Space and Worm Museum and Ballpark|Wormhole]], or the [[Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility|Big Garage]] in a timely manner. If you do not proceed to these locations in a timely manner, your gender will still be consumed. It is inevitable. |
| − | Fellow Garages splortsfellow [[Tot Clark]]'s stories from this time period start to include Acevedo, providing evidence Acevedo may also be an immortal being. Other teammates assume this is when romance between the two of them started, although neither of them reveal too much about their relationship. This is also rumored to be the first time Acevedo's lifeforce experienced an █████ event.
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| − | ====20th Century====
| + | The ILB is not responsible for any side effects that come with the consumption of your gender, including the inability to be referred to using any pronouns, the loss of your name, or, in rare and occasionally fatal cases, the inability to be perceived by anyone with a concept of “gender. ” If you have any complaints, simply stop having them, or report them to [[ [email protected]]] . We will not get back to you. |
| − | Stories of Acevedo from this time period indicate that this is when they started getting involved the music community in Washington, first by working at a record store selling rhythm & blues records and later playing and making music of their own. Acevedo's friendliness and support of local music made them quite popular across the Pacific Northwest, and the regional love of "Louie Louie" (covered by Tacoma band [[The Wailers]] and made famous by Portland band [[The Kingsmen]]) is often linked to their love of Luis.
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| − | ====21st Century====
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| − | Due to ████ and █████ events in the late 21st century, Acevedo's consciousness had to be uploaded into a software matrix that could handle their musicianship and be capable of developing an appropriate splortsona. [[Crypton Fluture Media]] offered a lucrative package to the Acevedo estate through [[VLOCALOID NEO X]] to upload Acevedo's soul into a VLOCALOID Mainframe. This mainframe is where the ████ soul of Acevedo resides, using soundbanks of every previous available Luis to speak. Acevedo is known in the splorting world as a renowned heckler and has an uncanny ability to shake opposing batters with their patented "EY BATTER, BATTER. SWING BATTER!" cry that comes in four descending phrygian octaves at a time. Acevedo is considered the first Latine Vlocaloid, and their soundbanks are used largely in Peru and the ████ Philippines.
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| − | ===On the Seattle Garages===
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| − | During Season 3, Day 57 colloquially known as The Day of the Grand Shame, after [[Tot Clark]] had pitched the entire game, Acevedo was inspired by the effort and finished the game for him so that they could go to [[Beth's Cafe]] afterwards and celebrate with one another. This was the fourth and final shame of a day filled with shame for many of the league's home teams.
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| − | ===On the [[Baltimore Crabs]]===
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| − | Acevedo was traded to the Crabs in Season 7 and quickly acclimated to the team, performing well above their rating as a batter to fit in with the Baltimorean once-champions. Several other members of the Crabs are on record as saying that the inclusion of a former Garages member to the team has gotten them thinking seriously about starting their own band, with [[Tillman Henderson]] reported as saying (for the fifth time this month) that he is "gonna pick up the guitar again". Acevedo also began exploring the Baltimore DIY music scene upon being traded to the Crabs, and can frequently be found at open mics and house shows with their teammates when not on the blaseball field.
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| − | After becoming closer with the Crabs, Acevedo began opening up to their teammates about their history as an immortal being, including the fact that they may have been what many people today would think of as a "vampire" prior to their digitization and life as a Vlocaloid. Acevedo also revealed to the team that their obligation to play blaseball is tied up in their contract with Crypton Fluture Media, as a consequence of not reading the small print. The Crabs have warmly embraced Acevedo and their various 18th and 19th century ephemera, and have promised to help them train to be a stronger batter and smash their corporate overlords.
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| − | A common chant for Acevedo on the Crabs is "EYE OF LIGHT, FUTURE SIGHT", often followed by "LET THEM WALK TO FIRST TONIGHT", in celebration of Acevedo's uncanny ability to get singles and walks when at bat.
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| − | ===In Literature===
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| − | Crabs Poet Laureate [[Runolfio Peeper]] wrote the following after hearing a moving performance by Acevedo during the 7th inning stretch of one blaseball game:
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| − | Luis, marimbest of Seattle, you play so well
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| − | That you still the bats within the mouth of hell;
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| − | And cage the tigers, and fierce [[Mexico City Wild Wings|Wings]], and [[Philly Pies|Pies]],
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| − | Through the soft taps of your lullabies;
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| − | You strike, strike, strike upon your booming planks,
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| − | And catch the drives that scream into our ranks.
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Contractual Gender Consumption
By reading this page, you have agreed to the terms and conditions that cede your gender over to Luis Acevedo for the purposes of consumption, and nothing else. Be advised that Luis Acevedo receives no nutritional benefit from eating your gender, and merely does it for splort. There will be no compensation. Please head to the Crabitat, the Wormhole, or the Big Garage in a timely manner. If you do not proceed to these locations in a timely manner, your gender will still be consumed. It is inevitable.
The ILB is not responsible for any side effects that come with the consumption of your gender, including the inability to be referred to using any pronouns, the loss of your name, or, in rare and occasionally fatal cases, the inability to be perceived by anyone with a concept of “gender.” If you have any complaints, simply stop having them, or report them to [email protected]. We will not get back to you.
Rumor / Community Lore