Difference between revisions of "Kennedy Loser/IF-65.408"

Latest revision as of 19:21, 26 November 2021

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Kennedy Loser at their Rumor Registry.

Marriage

Kennedy is married. This came as a surprise to many of the Crabs, who did not even realize that he was married to the person he kept bringing over to their gatherings, until the very day of ascension when he brought up in conversation, "I am going to miss my husband." Kennedy's husband is named Terry. They love each other very much. Terry doesn't really 'get' the whole blaseball thing, but hey, it's Ken's job, and they want to be supportive.

Terry is short for

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Finn James. Maybe Kennedy met Terry before he met Finn, maybe after he thought she died. Maybe they were meant for each other and knew that not even the veil of death would hold them apart. Maybe they stayed together, alone, all this time. They're husbians with each other.

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-| '''Terror Loser'''. None of the other Crabs have ever met Terry, but know him only by the wake of despair that marks his passing. Terry's influence spanned the western shores of central Chesapeake, and prior to his marriage with Kennedy, the governor of Maryland had placed Calvert County under a state of emergency. After several failed (reporters have gone as far as to say 'bungled,' even) extraction and evacuation attempts on the populace, the state had begun deliberations to designate the entire region as Lost/Uninhabited despite still being populated.<br><br>The Baltimore Crabs team captains were contracted to settle the affair, and while defending against tangible unidentified threats was familiar ground for [Forrest Best] and [Brock Forbes], Terry was one of the only targets known to have eluded them on record. When it was clear that they'd need all hands on deck here, Kennedy got directly involved with the operation. The events that follow have not been debriefed, reported, nor witnessed, but soon after, the hold over Calvert County had been lifted, science teams have determined the region safe, and life returned to normal. Kennedy and Terry were wed, with █████ ████████ as witness, the court records were immediately sealed.<br><br>Baltimore tabloid ''Softshell Hardball'' managed to wring out a brief interview with Kennedy some years later to shed light on his and Terry's private life. Kennedy, well trained in PR, kept a cool head as he deftly dodged muck with a smile, until the reporter insinuated that his marriage might have been a political arrangement to pacify Terry's reign. Soured, he vehemently denied it as such, assured the press that he and Terror are in deeply love and kiss, like, a lot, and refused to answer any further questions.<br><br>When Terry is home with Kennedy is the only time that his door has been confirmed to be locked. Most days, though, Terry still roams the coasts, but eyewitness reports have dropped to acceptable levels so he is no longer considered a credible threat. He doesn't target populated areas or livestock anymore, but he's definitely still out there. He's definitely still hungry.
+| '''Terror Loser'''. None of the other Crabs have ever met Terry, but know him only by the wake of despair that marks his passing. Terry's influence spanned the western shores of central Chesapeake, and prior to his marriage with Kennedy, the governor of Maryland had placed Calvert County under a state of emergency. After several failed (reporters have gone as far as to say 'bungled,' even) extraction and evacuation attempts on the populace, the state had begun deliberations to designate the entire region as Lost/Uninhabited despite still being populated.<br><br>The Baltimore Crabs team captains were contracted to settle the affair, and while defending against tangible unidentified threats was familiar ground for [[Forrest Best]] and [[Brock Forbes]], Terry was one of the only targets known to have eluded them on record. When it was clear that they'd need all hands on deck here, Kennedy got directly involved with the operation. The events that follow have not been debriefed, reported, nor witnessed, but soon after, the hold over Calvert County had been lifted, science teams have determined the region safe, and life returned to normal. Kennedy and Terry were wed, with █████ ████████ as witness, the court records were immediately sealed.<br><br>Baltimore tabloid ''Softshell Hardball'' managed to wring out a brief interview with Kennedy some years later to shed light on his and Terry's private life. Kennedy, well trained in PR, kept a cool head as he deftly dodged muck with a smile, until the reporter insinuated that his marriage might have been a political arrangement to pacify Terry's reign. Soured, he vehemently denied it as such, assured the press that he and Terror are in deeply love and kiss, like, a lot, and refused to answer any further questions.<br><br>When Terry is home with Kennedy is the only time that his door has been confirmed to be locked. Most days, though, Terry still roams the coasts, but eyewitness reports have dropped to acceptable levels so he is no longer considered a credible threat. He doesn't target populated areas or livestock anymore, but he's definitely still out there. He's definitely still hungry.
 | '''Tarot Loser'''. When Ken and Terry first met, Kennedy was still a novice at divination. Supposedly, Terry taught him everything he knew, and gifted him his second and now only deck. Supposedly, thinking of Terry was the only time Ken would ever not draw the Tower. The two had been inseparable for years.<br><br>At some point, Terry had fallen gravely ill, and was deteriorating faster than carcinization could allow him to recover. Kennedy stayed by his side for days, sleeping in place. One night, disappointed by the outlook of his cards again, Kennedy threw the deck towards the wall, cards aflutter in every which way, and slept with his head in his hands. When he awoke, his husband was nowhere to be found, the deck neatly stacked before him.<br><br>Only his closest friends know for certain if Terry is really in there, a soul suffused in seventy eight slivers by the grace of the Olde One. Perhaps the ritual of drawing a hand at every opportunity makes him feel close. Perhaps. Either way, the deck is likely Kennedy's most prized possession, and he consults it at every opportunity, earning 'tarot' as his officially reported pre-game ritual. He still draws the Tower every time, but not when he thinks of him.
 | '''Nissan Xterra Loser'''. In interviews, they explained, "When I was going in for my name change, I didn't know what to go with so I picked out the first thing that I saw." Court records state that the judge suggested they take some more time for deeper consideration, to which they responded "Screw you," and proceeded to punch the district judge in the mouth. Ever since then, they stuck with the name as an act of spite against the legal system and its expectations of normativity. They are a modestly successful tattoo artist and engraver who specializes in working over carcinized skin and shell.<br><br>Supposedly the two of them met at a riot, but it wasn't a particularly cordial first impression. Kennedy was performing street medic duties (because of course he does) when Terry got in a heated argument with him about whether the water-antacid solution works against pepper spray or if it's a myth and regular saline is preferable, all while writhing on the asphalt. When they met again on a proper date (at the insistence of a [[Sutton Dreamy|mutual friend]]), they eventually recognized each other from that time and it was really embarrassing.