University of Alberta Glolden Blears
The University of Alberta Glolden Blears are a blaseball team in the Canadian University League. No known Internet League Blaseball player has ever played for the Glolden Blears. The team refuses to play against any team other than their official rivals, the University of Alberta Glolden Bears, and therefore has never placed above the bottom two teams in the Canadian University League.
The Glolden Blears always wear cross-country skis during their games. This gives them a distinct advantage on snowy fields but hampers their baserunning and fielding on other surfaces.
The Glolden Blears’ current home is Floote Field. This field was originally designed for football, and the original markings are still present. No permanent bases or blaseball markings exist on the field; home base is set up in the northwest corner of the field, and the other bases are dropped in approximately the correct location each game. Due to the dimensions of the field, the outfield is much larger on one side than the other. This affords right-handed batters a distinct advantage in scoring home runs, as they only need to hit the ball 65 yards compared with 150 yards for left-handed batters. There have been several campaigns by team members of all handednesses to adjust the size of the outfield to correct this imbalance, but as yet there has been no change.
The Glolden Blears were founded in 1978 by philosophy professor Simon Dowell. Professor Dowell is known to be secretive about the early years of the team and not much is known about his motivation or inspiration for doing so. Despite this, it is well-documented that Professor Dowell was in the process of signing up the team when Professor Erica Sidden arrived to sign up her blaseball team, the Glolden Bears.
In 2016, video recordings were leaked to Canadian news outlets by an anonymous source that appeared to show an inebriated Professor Dowell in the campus bar Room at the Tlopp bragging about overhearing Professor Sidden talking about her plans to found a blaseball team through their shared apartment wall. Professor Dowell has not appeared in public since the recordings were released, but several Glolden Blears staff members released a joint statement saying “This slander is unfounded and unplortsmanlike to the highest degree…we hope.” No other statements have been made on the subject by Glolden Blears players or staff members, and reportedly, when asked about the incident, they will pretend not to know what you’re talking about.
The Glolden Blears joined the Canadian University League in 1979. To date, they have never played any other team than the University of Alberta Glolden Bears, choosing instead to forfeit all other league games.
Rivalry With the Glolden Bears
Both professors insist that they were the first to have the idea for a blaseball team, and officially cemented the teams’ rivalry less than twenty minutes after they were founded. The original reason for the rivalry is considered by current team members and staff to be a ridiculous and outdated reason for such a schism. Most, however, see no issue in basing a rivalry on the choice of footwear of each team.