SIBR:Humorous Lesser Statistics

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Humorous Lesser Statistics are statistics created by Blaseball fans for primarily humorous purposes. In general, they are not expected to inform Blaseball strategy or provide any meaningful insight into Blaseball’s mechanics or history. They are, however, funny.

CRiSP

Cold Runners in Scoring Position is a count of the number of times a runner was Frozen due to Snow weather while in (or later ending up in) scoring position on second or third base. Frozen players cannot bat for the remainder of the game, so this implies the player was Frozen while on base. This statistic is a contrived backronym in reference to the Columbia River Salmon Passage (CRiSP) Harvest Model, heavily researched by SIBR between the Discipline and Expansion Eras, and later referenced in Blaseball itself during the Expansion Era.

Intangibles

Intangibles are fan created player ratings which collect together Player Attributes not included in the fan created Linearly Derived Player Ratings.

GRIT

Gross Registered Intangible Throwing, or Rotation Intangibles, is the sum of Pitching Player Attributes not included in ERPR.

${\begin{aligned}GRIT=Coldness+Shakespeareianism+Suppression\end{aligned}}$

HUStL

Hitter’s Uncounted Supplement to Lineup, or Lineup Intangibles, is the sum of Batting, Baserunning, and Defense Player Attributes not included in wOBABR, BsRR, or DRiPDR, with Tragicness inverted because high Tragicness is thought to be detrimental.

${\begin{aligned}HUStL=Buoyancy+(1-Tragicness)+Chasiness+Watchfulness\end{aligned}}$

ViMV(iG)

Vibe influence Measuring Variable (in Game), or Vibe Factor, expresses the range in which a player’s Vibes will range as a single number.

${\begin{aligned}ViMV(iG)=(2+Cinnamon-Pressurization)/2\end{aligned}}$

Other player ratings, such as GRiT or HUStL, can be multiplied by ViMV(iG) to create a “Vibe Adjusted” variant of that rating, to assess if Vibes are real (maybe?????). ViMV(iG) itself can be adjusted to assume a different level of Vibe Realness by replacing both 2’s in the above formula with a different number. Lower numbers express a greater confidence in Vibe's Realness, while higher numbers express doubt in the Reality of Vibes.

Unquantifiability

Unquantifiability is the sum of the average GRiT, HUStL, and ViMV(iG) for an entire team’s active Roster.

${\begin{aligned}Unquantifiability=TeamAverageGRIT+TeamAverageHUStL+TeamAverageViMV(iG)\end{aligned}}$

RaND

RaND is a linear weighting of 3 Player Attributes identified as important to player performance by random number generation.

$RaND=0.5(BaseThirst)+0.3(Omniscience)+0.2(Tragicness)$

Real Stars

Real Stars corrects a player's Total Stars to remove stars which are fake.

${\begin{aligned}RealStars=TotalStars-AttractorStars-DefenseStars\end{aligned}}$

This may in turn be divided by that players Total Stars to calculate their %Realness.

${\begin{aligned}\%Realness=RealStars/TotalStars\end{aligned}}$

RTSK Index

The RTSK Index is a measurement of how Jaxon Buckley-like a batter is. This statistic is derived from all available counting stats a batter will receive in a given game/season. It is split into the five major attributes of Jaxon Buckliness.

Be: Before one can be measured, they first must Be. The Plate Appearances of a given game/season modify the entire equation.

Rootin': Overall enthusiasm and cheerfulness of play. The equation uses Strikeouts and Double Plays to measure how un-Rootin a player is, and subtracts that amount.

Tootin': Tootin' is a colloquial term used often for emphasis. This equation interprets the Tootin-ness of a player by taking their Runs Scored and Total Bases, showing their overall impact on the progression of play.

Shootin' (by God): A shootin' player is one who hits the ball, and hits it hard. All hits, Home Runs, and Runs Batted in are added to this attribute, weighted by the individual Shootin-osity of a given play. Because prospective Buckley-ites must be Shootin' By God, a x2 multiplier is applied to this section of the equation.

Kind (Most of All): The most important aspect of a player's Buckley-ness is their Kindness. Kind and selfless actions are interpreted as sacrifice plays, and are applied as a multiplier to the total positive attributes in the equation. Unkind actions are interpreted as stealing attempts, and are applied as a multiplier to the total negative attributes of the equation.

${\begin{aligned}{\frac {((2(H+2D+3T+4Q+5HR+RBI)+(2R+TB+0.5*BB))(SH+2*SF+1))-(2*DP+SO)(CS+SB+1)}{PA}}\end{aligned}}$

The most Jaxon Buckley-like player of the Discipline Era was Kennedy Loser.

X per x

X per x statistics a recurring joke in the Blaseball community, which compare instances of one thing to instances of another. Typically, those two things are either seemingly identical (such as Wins per win) or seemingly completely unrelated.

Wins per win

Wins per win measures the number of Wins (physical objects awarded to Teams under certain circumstances) per win (games in which a team scored more Runs than their opponent. aka Non-Losses). It was created to measure the impact of Sun2 and Black Hole Weather on league standings.

Yuuko

Yuuko estimates how effective a Blaseball player would be at managing wild Salmon stocks using the Columbia River Salmon Passage (CRiSP) Harvest Model. Yuuko uses several Player Attributes (including Buoyancy, Pressurization, Indulgence, Watchfulness, and Anticapitalism) to shape distributions from which to generate population variables to use in a simulation. It then repeats this process 50 times, and provides a summary of the Blaseball player's overall performance.

The name is a reference to the character Yuuko from the Japanese comedy manga and anime series Nichijou.

The specific process, written in Python, can be found on github.com/alisww/yuuko.

References

Original post in SIBR https://discord.com/channels/738107179294523402/755255164981608468/859992794368835594