PolkaDot Patterson
PolkaDot Patterson is a player for the Baltimore Crabs who originally played for the Kansas City Breath Mints during Season 1.
After receiving a "Max Out Pitcher" blessing and switching teams at the end of Season 1, Patterson has been regarded as a Messianic figure by the Crabs, many of whom believe Patterson to be their savior.
Patterson was also largely responsible for the Crabs' legendary 20-inning game against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands on day 52 of Season 2, which resulted in an 8-6 win for the Crabs.
Patterson has 87 fingers.
PolkaDot Patterson... How do you even begin to explain PolkaDot Patterson? PolkaDot Patterson is flawless. They have two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. Their hair is insured for $10000. I hear they do car commercials in Japan. Their favorite movie is Varsity Blues. One time, they met John Stamos on a plane and he told them they were pretty.
Nicknames
- Saint Patterson
- PdP
- PeePee
- P O L K A D O T
- Mound guardian, guardian of the mound
- The arm(s) that won't quit
- p̗̹͕̰̤̭͇͐͛̿̅̔͊̄̀̚͟ͅŏ̶̧̼̹͉͙̟̀̊̌̿̑͘l̶̙̰͙̜̫͖͕̮̜͚͂̓̂͛͊̚k̸̤͓̘̦̙͓͈̮̖͂̆̂̑͛̽͆́͘̚͢a̸̧͎͉̬̻͗̓̅̅̐̀͌̿͜͡͞ḅ̷̨̬̹̼͑̆͂̿͂̏͊̂͌ȩ̴͙͓̩͈̤̳̰̈͌́͆́̓̚ả̵̛̲̖͇̹͉̊̐̍͛͆͒͡s̸̳̻̱͕̘̻̦̬̔͌̊̏̃̈͝͞t̡̧̪̝͓̟͓̙͊̇̂̅͐̕͟͜3̧̝̰͓̗̗̊́̐̿͂̏́͘̕͡0̩̲̗̺̥̰̯̊̂̈̿̚0̵̥͎͓͓͓̭̯̼̞͖̿̀̇̂̈́̓͗͛̀̚0̨̢̛̪̱̺͎͑̃͋̊̈̚͟
