Difference between revisions of "Ortiz Lopez"

Revision as of 06:02, 8 August 2020

Ortiz Lopez is a batter for the San Francisco Lovers.

Ortiz is possibly the most seductive of the Lovers, standing at a mighty seven foot tall, with bright pink skin, no eyes, giant cupidlike red lips, a curvaceous figure and with red snakes for hair (that she would describe as "down to her ass"), this goliath gorgon is a kindly and inexplicably sexy woman.

Her attractiveness can be a hindrance, though, as she is too distracted by seductively unbuttoning the top button of her shirt, or sexily picking a ball up off the ground, that she forgets that the game is time sensitive, and fails to perform. Equally a hindrance is her medusa hair of glittering red snakes, that act as her eyes to find the ball, as they will often just do their own thing, because they're giant snakes, and completely not sentient or intelligent, they are just snakes. These factors contribute to her two star rating.

Ortiz is a pansexual trans woman and is dating multiple,members of the team/polycule. She initially met Knight Urlacher and Percival Wheeler at a biker bar where Percival was, in good form, starting a fight with a bunch of skinheads. She and Percy have been inseperable since, except of course when Blaseball demands.

No team member is said to know of where Ortiz comes from, only that she seems to know where they will go, be that a culturally-specific paradise or a culturally-specific hell. Many myths surround the origin of Ortiz, some say that she appeared from the sky, and others say that she is simply something that exists, a pure being of attractiveness and mystery. Whatever her origin, Ortiz is a valued part of the splort of Blaseball, and is expected by fans to become a dependable member of the team.

Notable Events

At the end of Season 2 Ortiz Lopez was blessed by performance enhancing demons, moving her star rating from ★½ to ★★.

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 Her attractiveness can be a hindrance, though, as she is too distracted by seductively unbuttoning the top button of her shirt, or sexily picking a ball up off the ground, that she forgets that the game is time sensitive, and fails to perform. Equally a hindrance is her medusa hair of glittering red snakes, that act as her eyes to find the ball, as they will often just do their own thing, because they're giant snakes, and completely not sentient or intelligent, they are just snakes. These factors contribute to her two star rating.
-Ortiz is a pansexual trans woman. She initially met [[Knight Urlacher]] and [[Percival Wheeler]] at a biker bar where Percival was, in good form, starting a fight with a bunch of skinheads. She and Percy have been inseperable since, except of course when Blaseball demands.
+Ortiz is a pansexual trans woman and is dating multiple,members of the team/polycule. She initially met [[Knight Urlacher]] and [[Percival Wheeler]] at a biker bar where Percival was, in good form, starting a fight with a bunch of skinheads. She and Percy have been inseperable since, except of course when Blaseball demands.
 No team member is said to know of where Ortiz comes from, only that she seems to know where they will go, be that a culturally-specific paradise or a culturally-specific hell. Many myths surround the origin of Ortiz, some say that she appeared from the sky, and others say that she is simply something that exists, a pure being of attractiveness and mystery. Whatever her origin, Ortiz is a valued part of the splort of ''Blaseball,'' and is expected by fans to become a dependable member of the team.