Mike Townsend

Mike Townsend
Basic Information
Team	Seattle Garages, but only in a blaseball sense
Status	Alive, Intact, A Disappointment

Mike Townsend is a major disappointment, total disgrace, and starting pitcher for the Seattle Garages. He is also a former member of the Garages' band, The Garages.

Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than him, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. Due to this sentiment among fans it is generally believed Mike is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball. Despite this reputation, Townsend has performed well against Philly Pies slugger Jessica Telephone. The reason for this unlikely success is hotly debated by fans.

Townsend has a two-pitch arsenal, both of which are eephus pitches he insists are different.

Personal life

Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only increased the friction between Townsend and the rest of the Garages.

Townsend was born in and currently lives in Bellevue, Washington. Some suspect that this is the reason for his limited Blaseball success and soured reputation.