Mike Townsend

Mike Townsend
Basic Information
Team	Seattle Garages, but only in a blaseball sense
Status	Alive, Intact, A Disappointment

Mike Townsend is a major disappointment, current disgrace, and starting pitcher for the Seattle Garages. He is also a former member of the Garages' band, The Garages.

Each time Townsend takes the mound, in lieu of a first pitch, one lucky fan is selected to throw the First Tomato at him. Last season, analysts determined these fan-thrown tomatoes had a greater strike zone accuracy than Townsend's season average.

Has a pitch arsenal of two eephus pitches that he insists are different.

While being one of the worst pitchers in the league, Townsend's presence on the mound seems to throw legendary batter Jessica Telephone off. The reason for this is hotly debated by fans.

Townsend once suggested the Garages change their name to the Seattle Bread, due to his love of whole wheat with extra seeds. This only caused the other players to hate him even more.

Townsend was born in and currently lives in Bellevue, WA. Many suspect that this is the reason he is so bad at blaseball.

Despite there being at least three pitchers who are statistically worse than Townsend, every single Garages fan questioned in a recent survey considered Townsend to be the worst pitcher in the League, both blaseball-ly and morally. Due to this sentiment among fans it is generally believed Mike is among the most hated players in the history of Blaseball.