Lance Serotonin/IF-9.739

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Lance Serotonin at their Rumor Registry.

Background

Lance Serotonin is a Brazilian handbike racer, wheelchair rugby player, high-altitude mountaineer, gymnast, physiotherapist, motivational speaker and champion competitive high-fivist. They also dabble in Blaseball.

While their charisma and positivity are instantly apparent, Serotonin's talent for high-fiving was only discovered after a strong third-place finish in the Arctic Circle All-Terrain Wheelchair Classic. Despite spending six palm-blistering days powering across the Canadian tundra Serotonin was still able to high-five each of the other finishers without instantly crying out in pain. A professional contract was offered within minutes.

In their first high-fiving tournament Serotonin scored perfect tens in Encouragement, Bro-itude and Artistic Interpretation. They went on to claim the elusive Triple Crown of High Fiving, along the way defeating former physiotherapy patient Stijn Strongbody (but doing so in a very encouraging fashion). The two formed a short-lived but successful doubles pairing billed as "Forewarned and Four-Armed".

Despite this success, and the promise of further million-dollar sponsorship deals, Serotonin retired from the world of competitive high-fiving after a single season. They explained to Lay It On! Monthly that it was "the one thing [they'd] never had to work hard for". This may be the closest they have ever come to publicly expressing disappointment, disillusion or ruefulness of any kind.

With the Tokyo Lift

Serotonin's high-fiving is now almost wholly recreational but they continue to appear in an annual charity exhibition match. It was at this event that Strongbody invited them to join the fledgling Tokyo Lift, framing it as "kind of a challenge, I don't know if you're up for it". Serotonin had accepted by the "ll" of "challenge". Despite starting as a novice, recruited mostly for the purpose of boosting team morale, Serotonin made rapid progress and by the end of their rookie season ranked among the Lift's strongest batters.

A firm favourite with the home crowd, Serotonin devotes much time to meeting Lift fans before, after and often during the game. They frequently ask spectators for selfies and mail out hundreds of hand-written cards reading "thanks for being at the game today, you were awesome!" They are known for their CMYK sweatbands bearing inspirational words and phrases, replicas of which are available in seventeen languages from vending machines around the stadium. These have become a major street trend in cities worldwide.

Serotonin is easily recognised by the candle stubs burning at the ends of their dreads. These seem to be entirely real candles, as evidenced by the thick trails of wax on the collar and shoulders of their Lift uniform, but are not seen to grow smaller over time. Serotonin manages somehow to avoid setting fire to their hair, clothes and soft furnishings, though does tend to avoid scarves and loose-fitting hats. Partner and fellow Lift Cudi Di Batterino has been observed to gently blow these candles out before bedtime.