Fire Safety Awareness Center

The Fire House is the official stadium of the Chicago Firefighters. It is both in and makes up the entirety of Chicago and may or may not be quantumly entangled with the concept of Portillos.

Whenever the Fire House appears in or around O'Hare Airport, the entire airport shuts down to watch the game.

The stands are entirely made up of fire escapes. To exit the Fire House, fans must use the various fireman's poles throughout the stadium. All doors in the Fire House are fire doors, which set off the sirens when opened.

The stadium has hoses strategically placed around the interior. Whenever the Firefighters hit a home run, Royal Crown Malort is sprayed on the masses below in celebration. The losing team is compelled to drink the Royal Crown Malort off the floor when the game is finished—however, the Firefighters players are invigorated by the taste and consider this a reward.