Esme Ramsey

From Blaseball Wiki

Revision as of 06:23, 4 August 2020 by Fidelity16 (talk | contribs) (Eliminated use of pronouns for Ramsey, who according to the description in the left panel does not use pronouns.)


Esme Ramsey is a player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves.

Ramsey first encountered Blaseball while drinking from a pool of primordial malice and witnessing the First Pitch (or an approximation thereof). This created an irresistible compulsion to play Blaseball, and despite having no prior experience with the splort, Ramsey could consistently be found clinging to the fence outside Hellmouth Sunbeams (Then the Moab Sunbeams) games and attempting to ingest stray balls. This determination ultimately proved appealing to the Subeams, who brought Ramsey on as a member of the roster. The batter served admirably for several years before being released as a free agent, after which Ramsey felt inexplicably drawn to the fledgling Shoe Thieves. Ramsey has proved to be a reliable hitter, going as far as winning the team's MVP award for Postseason 2 due to their consistency and high RBI count.


Ramsey plays the little-known defensive position of "longstop", a variant of the more commonly used shortstop that places the player almost entirely in left field. This allows Ramsey to give batting tips and spare blueberry muffins to left-fielder Velazquez Alstott, as well as to see approximately two seconds into the future.

Disputed Inheritance Claim

Ramsey claims to be Gordon Ramsey's illegitimate child. This claim is substantiated by the fact that Ramsey is Choux Stadium's preeminent patissier. However, Gordon has no knowledge of Ramsey's existence, and is entirely unable to answer questions regarding the batter.