Difference between revisions of "Blood Hamburger"
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| − | {{Player|team=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]|rating= | + | {{Player|team=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]|rating=★★★½|status=Intact, Alive|position=First Blase|pronouns=they/them, he/him (presumed)|nickname=The Burg|species=Meat Entity|likes=Blood, Veggie burgers|dislikes=Unblood, Hamburgers, Tillman Henderson|horse=Less Than 12% Horse Meat As Required By EU Law|catchphrase="Meat Is Murder And So Am I"|language(s)=Suffering|title1=Blood Hamburger}} |
Blood Hamburger is a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] who replaced [[Blankenship Fischer]] in [[Season 3]]. | Blood Hamburger is a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] who replaced [[Blankenship Fischer]] in [[Season 3]]. | ||
Revision as of 18:03, 10 August 2020
Blood Hamburger is a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves who replaced Blankenship Fischer in Season 3.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Hamburger, also known as "The Burg," is an unknown humanoid entity, always seen covered in a thick layer of blood that disguises their precise form.
Hamburger was first spotted emerging from the Charleston Hazardous Meat Disposal Site, whereupon they slowly began forming recognizable limbs (or potentially psuedopods) and began dragging themselves towards Choux Stadium, arriving just in time to witness the Incineration of Blankenship Fischer and be recruited by the Shoe Thieves to replace the deceased Enamaloid. They have proved to be a formidable player, and as such manager Cornelius Games has instructed all other Shoe Thieves players to "not mention the smell."
The Burg is most famous for the hamburger named after them sold in the stands of Shoe Thieves games, which consist of a patty on a damp bun, soaked in what is advertised as a mix of lamb, cow, and human blood, but which some biologists claim is actually a mix of ketchup and several previously unidentified forms of transbiological material. The Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger has been responsible for three recorded deaths and several dozen hospitalizations. However, those so afflicted universally insisted that the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger was not to blame, and repeatedly asked family members and hospital staff for "just one more mouthful of the soft flesh", and the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger is still sold in the stands.
Blood Hamburger is a strict vegan and animal rights activist and on several occasions has attempted to halt the sale of the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger, occasionally going so far as to assault vendors of the hamburger in the stands while screaming "be free, my children". Management has not responded to these incidents, nor to allegations that the meat in Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburgers is sources from Blood Hamburger themselves.
