Difference between revisions of "Blood Hamburger"

Revision as of 01:04, 7 August 2020

Blood Hamburger is a player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves who replaced Blankenship Fischer.

Hamburger, also known as "The Burg," is an unknown humanoid entity, always seen covered in a thick layer of blood that disguises their precise form.

Hamburger was first spotted emerging from the Charleston Hazardous Meat Disposal Site, whereupon they slowly began forming recognizable limbs (or potentially psuedopods) and began dragging themselves towards Choux Stadium, arriving just in time to witness the Incineration of Blankenship Fischer and be recruited by the Shoe Thieves to replace the deceased Enamaloid. They have proved to be a formidable player, and as such manager Cornelius Games has instructed all other Shoe Thieves players to "not mention the smell."

The Burg is most famous for the hamburger named after them sold in the stands of Shoe Thieves games, which consist of a patty on a damp bun, soaked in what is advertised as a mix of lamb, cow, and human blood, but which some biologists claim is actually a mix of ketchup and several previously unidentified forms of transbiological material. The Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger has been responsible for three recorded deaths and several dozen hospitalizations. However, those so afflicted universally insisted that the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger was not to blame, and repeatedly asked family members and hospital staff for "just one more mouthful of the soft flesh", and the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger is still sold in the stands.

Blood Hamburger is a strict vegan and animal rights activist. He has objected to the sale of the Blood Hamburger Hamburger.

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 Hamburger was first spotted emerging from the Charleston Hazardous Meat Disposal Site, whereupon they slowly began forming recognizable limbs (or potentially psuedopods) and began dragging themselves towards Choux Stadium, arriving just in time to witness the [[Incineration]] of Blankenship Fischer and be recruited by the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves|Shoe Thieves]] to replace the deceased Enamaloid. They have proved to be a formidable player, and as such manager [[Cornelius Games]] has instructed all other Shoe Thieves players to "not mention the smell."
-The Burg is most famous for the hamburger named after them sold in the stands of Shoe Thieves games, which consist of a patty on a red-colored bun, covered in lamb, cow, and (supposedly) human blood. The Blood Hamburger Hamburger has, as of the moment of writing, sent three people to their graves, and at least two dozen to the hospital. Despite this, the Blood Hamburger Hamburger is still sold in the stands.
+The Burg is most famous for the hamburger named after them sold in the stands of Shoe Thieves games, which consist of a patty on a damp bun, soaked in what is advertised as a mix of lamb, cow, and human blood, but which some biologists claim is actually a mix of ketchup and several previously unidentified forms of transbiological material. The Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger has been responsible for three recorded deaths and several dozen hospitalizations. However, those so afflicted universally insisted that the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger was not to blame, and repeatedly asked family members and hospital staff for "just one more mouthful of the soft flesh", and the Blood Hamburger Blood Hamburger is still sold in the stands.
 Blood Hamburger is a strict vegan and animal rights activist. He has objected to the sale of the Blood Hamburger Hamburger.