Thomas Kirby
Thomas Kirby is a lineup player for the Dallas Steaks. Kirby has been with Steaks since Season 2, Day 72, when they replaced Zi Delacruz due to Incineration.
Official League Records
Kirby currently has no notable events in the official record books.
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Biography
Physical Attributes
While many of his team and league mates can boast exotic names and mystical/mythological origins, Thomas "Tom" Kirby is a perfectly fine if slightly pedestrian cis/het white male.
Thomas Kirby is 5'9" in height, and his weight is self-reported as "having maybe gotten a little soft around the middle, but that's not unusual when you start getting a little older and slow down a bit".
His appearance has been described as looking "very familiar", "almost exactly like someone [you] went to school with", and "sort of like that guy from a movie a few years back".
Personal Life
Unlike teammate Sebastian Telephone, who was spawned full-formed from a payphone, Kirby was born from an unremarkable pregnancy between Jeffrey "Jeff" Kirby and Judtih "Judy" Kirby. Judy described the conception and pregnancy as "average."
Kirby drives a midsize pickup truck. In interviews, he describes it as "just enough to get the job done". He is always happy to help a teammate move to a new residence or transport a piece of bulky furniture home.
Kirby and his family live in a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath ranch-style home in Farmers Branch, a north Dallas-area suburb. He and his wife Amanda have one son and one daughter. The family has one dog: a retriever mix, and one cat: a shorthair.
Professional Life
He eschews any sort of value judgments or criticisms of his more extraordinary league mates. He treats all Blaseball players, friend or foe, with a polite respect, whether they be non-binary, non-sexually normative, non-human, or non-corporeal. He does admit, however, that he can't help but respect and appreciate a good, firm handshake.
Quotes
"You can just call me Tom." - Thomas Kirby
Trivia
- Kirby owns (and exclusively wears) 4 different pairs of khaki slacks
- He uses 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner
- His favorite food is Pot Roast, though he does occasionally enjoy Mexican food "as long as it isn't too spicy".
- His favorite film is "The Shawshank Redemption"
- His favorite salad dressing is ranch
- He likes to vacation in Orlando