Difference between revisions of "Theodore Cervantes"
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| − | {{Player|team=[[New York Millennials]]|rating=★★★½|status=Alive; Intact|pronouns=It/Its|side_hustle=Spear Fisher}}Theodore "Teddy" Cervantes is a pitcher for the [[New York Millennials]]. Teddy was originally rated at .5 stars, but after the end of Season 2 underwent a ''Soul Swap'' to become 3.5 stars. | + | {{Player|team=[[New York Millennials]]|rating=★★★½|status=Alive; Intact|pronouns=It/Its|side_hustle=Spear Fisher|likes=Sharp objects, round objects, stuff that goes fast}}Theodore "Teddy" Cervantes is a pitcher for the [[New York Millennials]]. Teddy was originally rated at .5 stars, but after the end of Season 2 underwent a ''Soul Swap'' to become 3.5 stars. |
== Change in Personality== | == Change in Personality== | ||
Revision as of 18:56, 5 August 2020
Theodore "Teddy" Cervantes is a pitcher for the New York Millennials. Teddy was originally rated at .5 stars, but after the end of Season 2 underwent a Soul Swap to become 3.5 stars.
Change in Personality
The Soul Swap caused a significant change to Teddy's personality. It now only responds to It/Its pronouns, and seems to have an almost single minded obsession with pitching. In unrelated news, one of the pitching machines the Millennials batters used for practice started emitting a high pitched screech at all times, resulting in it being sold to a collector.
Teddys exercise regime seems to have recently changed as of Season 3 as well, focusing less on raw power and more on flexibility. While it was previously known for windmill pitches, that has become almost literal, with Teddy's arm becoming a whirring propeller of force before a pitch.
Fishery Work
Since the Soul Swap, Teddy seems to have abandoned its writing career. When questioned on this in a post-game interview, it simply replied "𝑊𝑅𝐼𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐼𝑆 𝐴 𝐷𝐼𝑆𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝐹𝑅𝑂𝑀 𝐴𝐶𝐶𝐸𝐿𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆 𝑇𝑂 𝑇𝐸𝑅𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐴𝐿 𝑉𝐸𝐿𝑂𝐶𝐼𝑇𝑌". To help fulfil the requirements of having a Side Hustle having seemingly abandoned the previous one, fellow Millennials pitcher Patty Fox helped guide Teddy into spearfishing, a task that makes good use of its new talents.
The dishes made from the fish it catches are apparently quite tasty and are regularly served at Patty's restaurant, The Sly Fox, even if they do have to be eaten with a spoon due to Teddy's fearsome right arm and lovable overzealousness.
Rumors
Rumors that Teddy has been undergoing experimental cyborgisation procedures are unfounded.
Life Before Soul Swap
Cervantes is known for his Windmill Pitches. Cervantes’s pitching quality declined over season 2 and some fans believe his exercise routine is to blame. They claim that he is “completely muscle muscle bound” and a “250 lb meat wall.” In an interview at the end of the second regular season Cervantes responded to these rumours saying, “I am a 300 lb meat canvas and Blaseball is my brush.”
He’s tweeted multiple times that more information on his first book will be forthcoming. In the fall he was seen meeting with literary agent Byrd Leavell at a café with some printed pages and a smile.
Twitter "Beefs"
Cevantes claimed that he joined Twitter in XX11 due to "peer pressure," and controversy soon followed when he openly mocked chopped cheese sandwiches.
The original tweet was first "clowned on" by New York City teens and went viral later when Desus Nice retweeted it along with a string of emojis followed by #bodegahive. Cervantes then blocked Desus and tried to move on from the controversy, but continued to tweet out his hot food-based takes.
In the subsequent years he has been engaged in spats with centrists, the official account of the Metropolitan Transit Authority, a Village Voice writer, the entire province of New Brunswick, and fans of indie rock band The Strokes.
Most recently he has been fighting with an undisclosed airline to recover lost luggage.
