Sebastian Woodman
Sebastian Woodman is a player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves.
Upon former player Sebastian Townsend's incineration, the Shoe Thieves felled a mighty cypress tree, constructing an effigy in their honor. This was primarily accomplished through Esme Ramsey gnawing out a rough likeness with their teeth. After several teammates reported seeing the shifting, tortured face of Sebastian Townsend appearing on the effigy, the Shoe Thieves printed out a medium quality .jpg of Sebastian Townsend, taping it over. Cornelius Games commented, "That takes care of that."
This effigy has also displayed quite the knack for playing blaseball.
Sebastian Woodman's presence is reportedly a noticeable morale booster for the Shoe Thieves. Teammates of Woodman comment frequently about how much they love its jokes, such as, "It's me, Sebastian. It's really me. Help me," and, "I have been pulled from my eternal slumber to toil endlessly in the blaseball fields, this is my everlasting curse." Loud waves of laughter are often heard from the dlugout following such jokes.
No one has ever seen Woodman move. Whenever Woodman hits the ball, there is an instant where all watching collectively feel the urge to blink. Following this strange and entirely impossible to comprehend phenomena, Woodman will inexplicably be on base. It is unknown what, if any, dark magicks are at work and Woodman has given no hints besides "Please, you have to believe me. I'm Sebastian! Please!"
