Sebastian Telephone

Sebastian Telephone is a player for the Dallas Steaks. Like his sister Jessica Telephone, he sprang fully-formed from a payphone a few years ago. Unlike his sister, his synchronous quantum waveform has not yet corporeally incarnated. Some fans have speculated that his dependence on Jessica for interacting with the physical world started to hinder his play once she was stolen by the Philly Pies, but Sebastian insists he is "really, totally fine" and his vendetta against the Pies is for unrelated reasons.

Sebastian Telephone may not be the strongest batter in the league, and can only sometimes hold a bat, but his raw power and enthusiasm make up for it.