Difference between revisions of "Parker Parra"

Revision as of 21:31, 10 August 2020

Parker Parra is a player for the Baltimore Crabs and has been with the team since Season 1.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Parra claims to be a three-dimensional projection of a higher-dimensional entity. Despite their position as the Crabs' best hitter, their performance compared to the rest of the league has led to speculation that the entity cares little for Blaseball.

They have only been observed once out of their Blaseball uniform by a fan seeking an autograph. The unfortunate fan was instantly driven mad. In response to this incident, Parra was quoted as saying, "It was a shame it had to happen, but it did have to happen." As compensation, the fan was given season tickets behind the Crabs' dugout at the Crabitat. Chained to his seat for his, and others' protection, Ramblin' Dave is now a fixture at Crabs home games.

Parra is fascinated with crafts and art, especially origami, and as a result holds a deep admiration for them. They have mostly made origami crabs, but have branched out into making other animals as well. Among the confirmed animals crafted by them are a swan to "appease the overwhelming number of birds", and a tiger made in memory of Landry Violence.

In Literature

Parker Parra is subject of a poem by Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper called "Ramblin' Dave":

Queen Circe was a mighty witch

And sirens wrecked many a ship,

But none of these are dangerous,

Like Parker Parra when they strip.

I speak, of course, of Ramblin’ Dave:

An accidental tragic day,

He spotted Parker, dressed in jeans,

The sight did send his mind astray.

So Dave was given honored seats

And kept in chains, for that is best,

He rants and raves through every game

And watches Parra—always dressed.

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 <span style="font-size:small;"><div align="right" font-size="100px">Art by [https://twitter.com/Slagstorm/status/1289610174613688320?s=20 @Slagstorm]</div></span>
-{{Player|team=[[Baltimore Crabs]]|status=Intact, Alive|rating=★★|image1=[[Parker_Parra.png]]|pronouns=they/them|twitter_account=@CrabParra
+{{Player|team=[[Baltimore Crabs]]|status=Intact, Alive|rating=★★|batting=★★|pitching=★|baserunning=★★1/2|defense=★★1/2|item=None|armor=None|evolution=Base|ritual=Mourning|coffee=Flat White|blood=Fire|fate=33|soulscream=UIEXAUIEXAUUXAXIUXAXIUIOAOAIOAOAIIEAEAIEAEAI|image1=[[Parker_Parra.png]]|pronouns=they/them|twitter_account=@CrabParra
 Picrew by @WoudiM}}Parker Parra is a player for the [[Baltimore Crabs]] and has been with the team since [[Season 1]].