Jordan Hildebert
Jordan Hildebert took an unusual route to blaseball greatness, completing dual PhDs in molecular computing and legal ethics before hanging up the test tubes and gavel to play for the Houston Spies. Publicly available documents list Hildebert as a founder or board member for the 5 largest lobby groups pushing for umpires' use of incineration to no longer be limited to blaseball players, and for all groups in society to live in fear of their whims. As Citizens for Perpetual Fear of Incineration public spokesperson Leonardo Crenshaw argues: "we trust umpires to make the right decision when it comes to incinerating blaseball players, but saying they don't have the right to make those decisions about anyone else in our society is an unfair double standard that has no place in a modern society". As per Houston Spies team policy, Hildebert denies the existence of any and all organisations, individuals or political stances.
