Difference between revisions of "Jordan Hildebert"

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{{Player|team=[[Houston Spies]]|status=Active|image1=File:Jordan_hildebert.jpg|rating={{Star Rating|2.5}}|batting={{Star Rating|4.5}}|pitching={{Star Rating|3.0}}|baserunning={{Star Rating|3.0}}|defense={{Star Rating|3.0}}
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{{Player|team=[[Houston Spies]]|status=Active|image1=File:Hildebot.png|rating={{Star Rating|2.5}}|batting={{Star Rating|4.5}}|pitching={{Star Rating|3.0}}|baserunning={{Star Rating|3.0}}|defense={{Star Rating|3.0}}
 
|item=None|armor=None|evolution= Base|ritual=Intermittent fasting|coffee=Latte|blood=Fire|fate=5|soulscream=EEEAOEEEAOEUAAAOUAAAOUEEAIIEEAIIEXAAIOXAAIOXUAAIAUAAIAUAIIIHAIIIHAIOAEEIOAEEIAIAUUAIAUUAHAAAUHAAAUH
 
|item=None|armor=None|evolution= Base|ritual=Intermittent fasting|coffee=Latte|blood=Fire|fate=5|soulscream=EEEAOEEEAOEUAAAOUAAAOUEEAIIEEAIIEXAAIOXAAIOXUAAIAUAAIAUAIIIHAIIIHAIOAEEIOAEEIAIAUUAIAUUAHAAAUHAAAUH
 
||uuid  =30218684-7fa1-41a5-a3b3-5d9cd97dd36b
 
||uuid  =30218684-7fa1-41a5-a3b3-5d9cd97dd36b
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}}
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|title=|caption1=}}
 
'''Jordan Hildebert''' is a pitcher for the [[Houston Spies]], and has been with the team since [[Season 1]].
 
'''Jordan Hildebert''' is a pitcher for the [[Houston Spies]], and has been with the team since [[Season 1]].
  
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== Official League Records ==
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== Official League Records==
 
Hildebert currently has no notable events in the official record books.
 
Hildebert currently has no notable events in the official record books.
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== History ==  
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==History==  
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
  
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Jordan Hildebert took an unusual route to blaseball greatness, completing dual PhDs in molecular computing and legal ethics before hanging up the test tubes and gavel to play for the [[Houston Spies]]. Publicly available documents list Hildebert as a founder or board member for the 5 largest lobby groups pushing for [[Umpire|umpires]]' use of [[incineration]] to no longer be limited to [[List of Deaths|blaseball players]], and for all humanity, as well as sundry other species, to live in fear of their whims. As Hildebert eloquently argued in their tract, ''Citizens for Perpetual Fear of Incineration'': "We trust umpires to make the right decision when it comes to incinerating blaseball players, but the idea that they don't have the right to make those decisions about anyone else in our society is a double standard that is outmoded and painfully unfair". As per Houston Spies team policy, Hildebert denies the existence of any and all organisations, individuals or political stances, despite the fact that their face has appeared multiple times on the cover of the political tract 'Fire of the Gods Monthly'.
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==Origin==
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It is rumored that the only thing keeping Hildebert under control and pitching in blaseball, rather than in political office on their way to bathing this dimension in the bright and beautiful glow of deadly fire, is the dossier of information on their personal life that the mysterious Director of the Spies holds in reserve. Nothing is known of the contents of this dossier, as leaking it would render it useless to stop Hildebert's plans, but Hildebert has been witnessed openly begging teammates such as Alexandria Rosales not to mail it to the press.
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Jordan (J-series Operational Research, and Development Android) was originally developed to aid and manage the Spies' R&D program. Designed to coordinate research while detecting (and dispatching) the many moles sent to infiltrate the Spies from organizations like the FBI, ATF, and the FDA. Eventually, they were rendered obsolete and chose to leave the Spies instead of being decommissioned.  
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How long will the Spies' clemency hold out? We may never know...{{TeamNavSelector|spies}}
 
  
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==Time in Politics==
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Though no longer a member of the Spies, their programming urged them to make use of their abilities. They found their management skills and ability to detect federal agents incredibly useful in the Houston labor community, and J-ORDAn spent a great deal of time as an organizer for mutual aid projects, and became a well known figure in city politics, taking on the last name "Hildebert" to disguise their synthetic nature.
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==The Great Return ==
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Eventually, J-ORDAn burnt out on local politics, as many activists do. They were listless and without purpose, until the Spies reached back out to them. Decentral Command was in need of someone who could help keep moles out of their Blaseball team and help coordinate defensive plays in time for the [[Season 1|Great Return]]. J-ORDAn took on the job, but decided to keep their human disguise out of fear of being barred or fined by the [[Internet League Blaseball|ILB]].
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Though they successfully hid their true nature, rumors of Hildebert possibly using performance enhancing technology to cheat spread after an incident involving a lost catchers mitt and a mechanical claw. Certainly the electronic screech of binary whenever Hildebert was coordinating for a fly-ball did not help dispel rumors.
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==The Great Reveal==
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In Season 8 the advent of the Unlimited Taco's [[Pitching Machine]] established stronger precedent for fully electronic players, allowing many of the ILB's less fleshy players to flaunt their abilities far more confidently. At the end of Season 8, J-ORDAn officially made their debut as an android.
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==Gallery==
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<gallery widths="185">
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</gallery>
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<br />
 
[[Category:Players]]
 
[[Category:Players]]
 
[[Category:Pitchers]]
 
[[Category:Pitchers]]
 
[[Category:Houston Spies]]
 
[[Category:Houston Spies]]
 
[[Category:Players without Fan Art]]
 
[[Category:Players without Fan Art]]

Revision as of 22:54, 28 September 2020

Jordan Hildebert is a pitcher for the Houston Spies, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Hildebert currently has no notable events in the official record books.

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Origin

Jordan (J-series Operational Research, and Development Android) was originally developed to aid and manage the Spies' R&D program. Designed to coordinate research while detecting (and dispatching) the many moles sent to infiltrate the Spies from organizations like the FBI, ATF, and the FDA. Eventually, they were rendered obsolete and chose to leave the Spies instead of being decommissioned.

Time in Politics

Though no longer a member of the Spies, their programming urged them to make use of their abilities. They found their management skills and ability to detect federal agents incredibly useful in the Houston labor community, and J-ORDAn spent a great deal of time as an organizer for mutual aid projects, and became a well known figure in city politics, taking on the last name "Hildebert" to disguise their synthetic nature.

The Great Return

Eventually, J-ORDAn burnt out on local politics, as many activists do. They were listless and without purpose, until the Spies reached back out to them. Decentral Command was in need of someone who could help keep moles out of their Blaseball team and help coordinate defensive plays in time for the Great Return. J-ORDAn took on the job, but decided to keep their human disguise out of fear of being barred or fined by the ILB.

Though they successfully hid their true nature, rumors of Hildebert possibly using performance enhancing technology to cheat spread after an incident involving a lost catchers mitt and a mechanical claw. Certainly the electronic screech of binary whenever Hildebert was coordinating for a fly-ball did not help dispel rumors.

The Great Reveal

In Season 8 the advent of the Unlimited Taco's Pitching Machine established stronger precedent for fully electronic players, allowing many of the ILB's less fleshy players to flaunt their abilities far more confidently. At the end of Season 8, J-ORDAn officially made their debut as an android.

Gallery


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