Hellmouth Sunbeams Comprehensive Emergency Manual

The Hellmouth Sunbeams Comprehensive Emergency Manual' is a several-foot-tall collection of thick books written by Nerd Pacheco and edited by Nagomi Nava. The HSCEM contains plans for responding to every conceivable emergency that may occur in the Hellmouth and during the normal course of Blaseball. The Comprehensive Emergency Manual has been described as "ridiculously comprehensive" by its author.

The Comprehensive Emergency Manual currently occupies over 48 volumes and numerous appendices. Born out of the desire to "be prepared for every eventuality" and written over many sleepless nights, the Comprehensive Emergency Manual has consistently proven useful for operating a blaseball stadium in the harsh environment of the Hellmouth . From expected temperature ranges for magmatic players to proper cleanup procedures for removing puddles of festering voidstuff on a base to strategies for giant sand snake infestations, almost every mundane or eldritch scenario one might encounter has an entry in the Manual detailing steps to take, useful flowcharts to help identify appropriate questions to ask, or diagrams of recommended actions. To date, the only known scenario without an entry in the Comprehensive Emergency Manual is the Sunbeams winning an Internet Series.

When asked how the Comprehensive Emergency Manual has consistently proven useful during unforseen crises, despite being written before the existence of many of the events it was used in, Pacheco stated "I like to be prepared for any emergency". After the events of Season 9 and the defeat of The Shelled One, there have been rumors that Pacheco has received offers to publish Volume 32: Practical Deicide (formerly known as Volume 32: Theoretical Deicide) as a standalone book.